Okay.
You know I don't just Blog to Blog very often but sometimes it needs to be done.
So this has been one incredible year, 2010. To say the least.
In many ways even some what surreal.
It started on a bad note. January was horrible. I have been under a full throttle attack from the enemy since late December. It hasn't let up in the least. I give God praise for his grace and mercy to see me through! Sometimes I wonder how I make through each day. Then I sense God's peace and hear his small still voice and I am reminded how! Sometimes, though it seems unbearable, the pain in my heart....I miss my children so. I haven't talked to them in so long.
And when I feel this pain, I think to myself, "Is this what the Lord feels like when we refuse to talk to Him?"
Then there are so many loved ones of mine that are going through so much right now. HOW can I keep up? HOW can I POSSIBLY pray for them all enough? Oh Lord my heart is sooooo grieved! Between family, work, church, prayer, and my own heart issues.......Lord........Help please!
*** R e G r O u P***
EnOuGh with this PiTtY PaRtY!
You know I was talking to a woman today. What a story she had. You might almost think it were fictional. Poor thing. I was helping her on the phone. She was blind,(she lost her sight due to infection gone bad), hard of hearing, she had no teeth, as they were just recently removed due to the same infection that had taken her eye sight; she had just had her leg amputated; (also due to infection, but from diabetes) and she had just recently fallen due to complications from not being able to see and broken her wrist.
She was so sweet. She had such a wonderful disposition and she was so full of joy. It touch me and broke my heart all at the same time. Made me really think and put things into proper perspective.
You know she called me her "miracle". Me, lil' ol' me. It made me so good and made me realize that my job can be more than just a job at times. It can actually be an extension of who I am - of who God wants me to be. It made me realize I can actually make a difference in this rotten world - by just being who I am - where ever I am. No matter what I am going through or what is going on in my own life.
That's really important to me, especially here lately. As it seems every where I turn, my assertive efforts at making everyone else lives better are returning to me to void and I am coming up empty handed and frustrated when it comes to figuring out my place in the web of interpersonal relational issues. So I am going to rest on what I believe the Lord has shown me this last week or so.
Which is to rest and focus on him and continue to love everyone through His eyes....period.
Key words....REST....and FOCUS...on.... HIM.
I will leave you with this little poem by John Wooton
(Based off of the Parable of the Sower)
We do some work
Then while we sleep
God does the rest
Then we reap!
