Today I lost count -updated

Of just how many times

 I heard the Lord tell me,

" I"

"you.!"

It started so early in the day. Before the sun was even awake. 

As I opened my eyes. I knew my Lord was there.

I could tell, because there was such a sweet, peaceful presence that filled the room.

 I woke with a smile.

"Good morning Lord!"

There it was. Before I could say another word. His small, still, but very clear and recognizable voice,

"Good morning my dear. I love you."

Then as I got ready for the day, began with the reading of  His Word. Then a bit of worship. 

There was such a sweet and sure anointing.

As if I had been captured up in a blanket of grace.

Such love that I could not keep the stream of tears from falling down my cheeks.

Again I heard His voice, "I love you my AmyColleen."

This time when I heard Him, I chuckled, "I love you too Lord."

Out the door and in my car - Off to work I go!

Praying along the way.

It wasn't 3 minutes and without a word. Not even a whisper. No small still voice.

Still, it was loud and crisp as could be in my spirit.

Those words. I heard those words - again,

"Amy?"

"Yes, Lord?

"I love you."

Oh my goodness! - It hadn't been but two hours since I woke up. I had heard the Lord tell me at least three times "I love you." I was beginning to think I was the one speaking to myself!

So, naturally, I did what any sane person would do at this point. 

I ignored that small, still, but very clear and recognizable voice.

lol

Only to be met, yet again, with another, "I love you. "

Which again, I chose to pretend I did not hear. lol

This went on for a litter while.

Kinda like a ping pong game. 

Until the Lord keep the ball in His court.

and began a little teaching session.

He asked me why I suddenly doubted His voice.

I did not have satisfactory answer. I simply did not know.

So, that's when the Lord told me why I was doubting Him.

He also told me how to check the voice I am hearing is truly His, when I am concerned it might not be.

At first I felt this overwhelming feeling - as if I had sorely disappointed my Lord. 

Of course - the Lord immediately put my mind and heart and spirit to rest.

The Lord was so gracious in explaining to me.

Making very sure I understood the He was not disappointed in me. 

Pointing out that He (Jesus) cannot be disappointed in us. 

I, of course being the curious type, asked, "Why not?"

His answer?
Well, in short-and in my words close as I can get to his-

Because He KNOWS.

 He knows everything about us - already. 
We can't surprise our creator. 
So there are no expectation's on His (the Lord's) side.
Still, (knowing it all) he chose to come to earth and give up His life. As a living sacrifice. Then lay down His life, as a sacrifice of death.  Even death on a cross. To atone for our short comings. To wipe away all our sin. 
Once for all. 

Unlike us as humans. We do not have the capacity in and of ourselves to love like that.

  All of us to some degree love conditionally. Set some kind of expectation on each other. We also do not know the future or what it may hold, for ourselves or for  others. Thus, for the most part, setting ourselves up for disappointment.  Because rarely do we or do those we have expectations for, live up to those expectations!

And when expectations are not lived up to,
that's when disappointments sets in.

So, now it was starting to make sense to me.
It was my own expectation I had placed on myself. 
Still

Why was I was finding it hard to  accept and receive all the "I love yous." from the Lord.

I never have a problem with the , "Amy Colleen you need to_______"

Now I can handle a rebuke no problem!

But when it comes down to - Pap God calling me to jump up on His lap for no other reason but to tell me He loves me so. Or. Jesus showing up in my spiritual eye sight a bazzion times a day just tell me, "I love you."  This I find a hard pill to swallow.

Well, the Lord revealed to me in His infinite grace something I thought I had already known. lol
(Perhaps someone out there reading this will find this information useful as well.)
My expectation of myself is a common one. I have seen it in others as I have ministered through out the years. This is an expectation I found the majority of Christ followers have for themselves the longer they have been walking close to God. And, in fact, should have to some degree - but- in the balance. What I mean is - striving ...."to be perfect therefore as our heavenly Father is perfect." Mathew 5:48.
(Its funny how we sometimes don't recognize how hard we are on our ourselves.)
However, for many reasons, which I will not go into here and now, the Lord opened my eyes to show me my how expectation for myself was set unrealistically. Also how I felt I had to be perfect to obtain and retain His favor.  Of course I am not, perfect, this being the reason I felt unworthy of the "I love you's" from the the Lord. More specifically - I was feeling "guilt and shame".
Which (this is good here!)
Which were not mine to feel!
The enemy, Satan, he was taking advantage of my situation.
Instructing his minions to shoot flaming arrows of "guilt" and "shame" into my heart.

Beloved ~ guilt and shame do not belong in the life of a believer! 
Honestly I did not feel guilt nor did I feel shame. I only knew this because I was feeling uncomfortable receiving all the "I love you's" for the Lord. Which is not like me, at all. None the less the guilt and shame were there and were keeping me from receiving the Lord's love in its fullest and keeping me from enjoying sweet fellowship with my creator.

I know this. I knew this. I thought I out-grew this.

Apparently not.

That's okay because Jesus has got me covered. He is working on this one for me and with me.

Today was a day full of I love you's

I saw, heard and experienced them every where and all day. From morning to night.

So very many in fact that, 

Today I lost count.

P.S. I Love you too Lord!

    1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

Romans 8 Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, ² because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death.³ For what the law was powerless to do because it was weakened by the flesh, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh to be a sin offering. And so he condemned sin in the flesh, ⁴ in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.

Life is full of surprises

"We do not fully understand joy until we have faced sorrow.

  Nor faith until it is tested. 

Peace until we are faced with conflict.

Love, until it is lost. 

Nor hope until confronted with doubts."  

  

So let us continue down this road called life

Embrassing all it brings our way

Knowing that what we are going through now is nothing compared to the glory that will be revealed in us later.

Romans 8:18

The Latest Addition...

...to our online family

click on the link below to visit the newest blog where I will be sharing, as well as other's, prophetic dreams,  words and songs in these last days. 

For the edification and encouragement of the body of Christ

In the Last Days, says the Lord...

Paintings by: Janice Van Cronkhite

Letter from Hobby Lobby:

A Letter from Hobby Lobby Stores CEO
By David Green, the founder and CEO of Hobby Lobby Stores, Inc.

When my family and I started our company 40 years ago, we
were working out of a garage on a $600 bank loan, assembling miniature picture frames. Our first retail store wasn't much bigger than most people's living rooms, but we had faith that we would succeed if we lived and worked according to God's word. From there,Hobby Lobby has become one of the nation's largest arts and crafts retailers, with more than 500 locations in 41 states. Our children grew up into fine business leaders, and today we run Hobby Lobby together, as a family.

We're Christians, and we run our business on Christian principles. I've always said that the first two goals of our business are (1) to run our business in harmony with God's laws, and (2) to focus on people more than money. And that's what we've tried to do. We close early so our employees can see their families at night. We keep our stores closed on Sundays, one of the week's biggest shopping days, so that our workers and their families can enjoy a day of rest. We believe that it is by God's grace that Hobby Lobby has endured, and he has blessed us and our employees. We've not only added jobs in a weak economy, we've raised wages for the past four years in a row. Our full-time employees start at 80% above minimum wage.

But now, our government threatens to change all of that. A new government health care mandate says that our family business MUST provide what I believe are abortion-causing drugs as part of our health insurance. Being Christians, we don't pay for drugs that might cause abortions, which means that we don't cover emergency contraception, the morning-after pill or the week-after pill. We believe doing so might end a life after the moment of conception, something that is contrary to our most important beliefs. It goes against the Biblical principles on which we have run this company since day one. If we refuse to comply, we could face $1.3 million PER DAY in government fines.

Our government threatens to fine job creators in a bad economy. Our government threatens to fine a company that's raised wages four years running. Our government threatens to fine a family for running its business according to its beliefs. It's not right. I know people will say we ought to follow the rules; that it's the same for everybody. But that's not true. The government has exempted thousands of companies from this mandate, for reasons of convenience or cost. But it won't exempt them for reasons of religious belief.

So, Hobby Lobby � and my family � are forced to make a choice. With great reluctance, we filed a lawsuit today, represented by the Becket Fund for Religious Liberty, asking a federal court to stop this mandate before it hurts our business. We don't like to go running into court, but we no longer have a choice. We believe people are more important than the bottom line and that honoring God is more important than turning a profit.

My family has lived the American dream. We want to continue growing our company and providing great jobs for thousands of employees, but the government is going to make that much more difficult. The government is forcing us to choose between following our faith and following the law. I say that's a choice no American � and no American business � should have to make.
The government cannot force you to follow laws that go against your fundamental religious belief. They have exempted thousands of companies but will not except Christian organizations including the Catholic church.

Since you will not see this covered in any of the liberal media, pass this on to all your contacts.
Sincerely,
David Green, CEO and Founder of Hobby Lobby Stores, Inc.


( persecution, 1776, religious freedom, dictator )