Sometimes I just wish I could..................

Sometimes I just wish the Lord would show up in person. You know?
I mean. Come on. Can anyone out there reading this understand where I am coming from?
It's not that I don't appreciate the awesome, prophetic dreams that in their own right have become an intimate love language from the Lord Himself to me. I do. I really do.
also not that I don't appreciate and feel incredibly blessed when I am driving down the road, or walking down the street or even just sitting quietly in my prayer chair and suddenly and immersed in His presence. No warning. Just swallowed up in His love. Filled with His peace. Unable to move from the weight of His GLORY. I realize these are manifestations of the Lords incredible love for me and His presence in my life. Sometimes though, like right now, when I am being lead by the Lord Himself along a very narrow and specific pathway, one that is twisted in and around several others pathways similar to itself in physical appearance but so very different in ending destination. I find myself wishing the Lord would just "show up" in person as I am traveling on my path. Kinda like He did for the disciples. So I could "just ask" Him straight up, "Do I do this? Should I say that? Is it this person or that person?" Instead of having to lean on my faith all the time.
I know that probably sounds so totally ridiculous to whoever  is reading this right now. It almost sounds ridiculous to me. haha . I guess I am just tired I guess. I am tired and I don't want to stop moving forward and I don't want to make any mistakes either.

I came back from a retreat just a couple days ago. It wasn't a resting retreat. I served the entire time. The Lord used every ounce of every moment to speak to me. So that was really good. Of course now I am exhausted and I truthfully need some serious time to process everything. I don't expect that to happen until probably next week.

Well, This was different. Me writing about pretty much nothing nothing. But, that was what was on my heart. Wanting to see Jesus...needing to talk to Him. In person. About so much.

Did Jacob's Pain EVER Subside?

I received a promise from God.
I believe he will see it through.

I don't know the time . I don't know the day or year. I DO know the one who spoke the word of promise. I know OF him and I KNOW him. I know his love for me and I trust him with my life. In fact, HE is the one who GAVE me life. Not just in the beginning when he knit me together in my mothers womb but again after I was already birthed into this sinful world and headed straight for hell's gates. It was HE, God himself, who reached out and plucked me from the hand of the enemy just moments away from slipping into eternal separation from God and all those I loved.......There is so much more to this lovely, miraculous story! Bottom line though?
I have been saved! By Gods Grace!! I didn't deserve it! There was and is nothing I could have ever done to deserve or earn it!
It is the same with any one of us who have come to the saving knowledge of Jesus the Christ - Yeshua Ha Mashiach. There is NOTHING we could ever have done to deserve this great gift of eternal life.

Since then - since my eyes were opened to the truth (Jesus) - the devil, our accuser Satan has been on a mission to "try" and convince me that am I no good and do not deserve Gods grace. Ummmmm - WRONG!
That is the ENTIRE and WHOLE REASON. Jesus came and laid down his life down ---- for me....for my sin.
FOR YOU.....for YOUR SIN. So WE would be able to be WITH HIM  forever and ever and ever.....regardless of our past.

This all being said ( hoping you are follow along here)

Going back to the beginning of my blog post here.  >--------->  Beginning.

Gods beautiful and precious - most Holy - and His  promise WILL stand AND will come to pass.

When? 

THAT I can not tell you.
It is not for me to question the day or hour but to THANK HIM for his mercy and grace!!!!

And

To expect my prayers to be answered - my cup to overflowed with the manifestation of received prayers birthed out of a heart of  love and supplication - a divine gift from the Holy Father.
 Given to me as I have delighted IN HIM through the most difficult and horrific times in my life!

Just got one question - How long did Jacob mourn when he lost Joseph? When the enemy stole him away from him?
Did Jacob grieve for a long time or was he able to grieve the 5 steps and soon let go?
Of course Jacob believed Joseph to be dead.
So this a bit different than say - the prodigal son.
Do you think HE was able to just "LET GO" and stop thinking about his lost or wayword son?

I ask because I have been struggling with this from time to time.
I don't generally "tell" people about my situation - not those in my daily life -  but from time to time I am asked about my sons. I mean, it's hard to avoid the obvious. They are my sons and I have pictures riddle throughout my home and office. I am not gonna lie.
I do my best to avoid conversation but inevitably the brief reminder leaves me and my heart grieving deeply once again.
Thus - the thought about the men and women of God in the Bible.

Well --I am not sure about them. I DO KNOW God grieves over HIS lost beloved children. So THIS makes me think it is "okay" for us to grieve the loss of loved ones, especially those who are still alive - especially those who are what would be considered as "luke-warm". Still having a chance
I believe the grieving is a reminder, a passionate reminder that gives us a passion to pray for them and the  reconciliation that is needed in their lives as well. To pray for health and healing inside and out. They may not. Actually, most assuredly they do not, think they need it, but they do, as God IS A GOD OF RECONCILIATION AND LOVE. That is why God SENT HIS ONLY BEGOTTEN SON to die for us.....and that is WHY HE CAME of HIS OWN DESIRE, WILL AND LAID DOWN HIS LIFE for us....for RECONCILIATION.

It is most assuredly not God's will for families to be divided. I believe with the very breath of my being - the very heartbeat of my soul - all that is within in me - God's perfect will (and He proves it so with the life of His Son) - is for all of His beloveds, all of His children, all families, to love as He loves, forgive  as He forgives.  Ephesians 4:32

"Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."

Yeah - well - in case you hadn't figured it out.... I have just come back from a wonderful time away with God, one that left me full in so many ways.
I went as a "leader".
Of course "I" was SO pleasantly surprised being one of the ones to be so blessed .

I was emptied out in so many other ways.
Leaving me with open wide space to clearly see areas in MY OWN heart I have not seen before.
There was one question that came to mind over and over -that basically spawned this blog post tonight. . A question I have just asked the Lord.
"Lord, will I EVER get over this hurt? Will I ever stop crying? Will I EVER stop missing? Will I ever stop mourning their loss?"

"No. No, my beloved AmyColleen, not until I bring them safely back home."
So my Lord answered me.

And so,  I, Amy Colleen, God's Own, Beloved Handmaiden, would or have it any other way.
If there is ONE thing I have learned from my life with God it is:
1) Be patient and wait on the Lord for He IS good and his promises endure forever.
2) Trust in the Lord and lean not on your own understanding.
3) God is close to the broken hearted and he dwells with those of humble and construe spirit
okay- so that was three things - heehee

I just love my Lord so much.

       My One True Love

My one true love;

I have but one;

He’s been there all my life from the rising of the sun; to it’s setting in the night.

From my first memory;

To this very moment;

Through all my tribulations and every battle fought and victory that I’ve won.

My one true love;

I have but one;

The Kings of Kings and Lord of Lords is he; he fought the fight for me.

My one true love;

I have but one;

Yeshua is his name. He is my dearest friend; my precious Lord in heaven.

My one true love;

I have but one;

He sits upon his throne awaiting our eternal union just the same as I.

My one true love;

I have but one;

Not a figment but flesh and blood; shed for me and risen; living for eternity.

My one true love;

I have but one;

I am his and he is mine. Since the beginning of all time; he was meant to be;

My one true love.

By: Amy Colleen

Please.....

Bear with Me!

Me and my blog are going through some major life changes.

So please be BEAR with us!

We may not be so easy to read as we make adjustments for a few weeks.

Thank you!

No Passover Here

It's Passover AND Passion Week.

Two monumental times for both the Jew and the Gentile both. The Jew and Jewish believer in Messiah. Celebrate Passover remembering the deliverance of God's mighty hand. A week long celebration. Many Jewish believers will plan there entire year to take vacation during Passover and family members will travel across the country, some even fly over seas to be with family to celebrate this time together.

Just the same for the Gentile believer in Yeshua is Passion Week leading up to crucifixion Friday (also known as Good Friday). Followed by Resurrection Sunday.

These are such important and such defining High Holy Holidays for both the Jews and the Gentiles.

As they should be.

I just find it sad I guess, as I lay here tonight on my bed, thinking of those I know, whom I love dearly, celebrating Passover. I know they are enjoying a glorious celebration. As one would expect, and we are actually commanded to do. Yet, I know hearts are not clear.

I wonder, in times like this. In these circumstances...That as laughing and smiling ensue for the week - as the celebration takes place in the house -where they are - is our Heavenly Farther smiling too? Or is He sharing the pain of feeling forgotten and rejected - broken hearted and abandoned ?
Passover has not come to this house this year. I feel the pain - I share my daughters tears. If "I" do - How much more does our Heavenly Father?

He sent His only begotten son, to die for US... in our place So we would be reconciled to HIM....to bring forgiveness - to bring reconciliation - make us one accord.....GOD has forgiven us soooo much...saying-

Thank you is not - can not - simply never will be enough - just said. My life poured out - a living sacrifice for you - Everything I am is yours - take it all even more than I said.

I love you .