Dream of Darkness

Darkness was everywhere. It was so strange. I felt as if I had been here before. I recognized the people and the surroundings. Everything. The only difference was the darkness; and with the darkness there was a  dank chill in the air. Strangely enough the people were bustling about. Going to and fro like a normal day. We were in a downtown market place. In the city. There was chatter among everyone. What you would expect to hear except the sound had a deep timber to it. The peoples heads were hung low. There seemed to be a visible oppression hanging over them like a fog.

I was there among them in the market place, though they did not see me. Yet at the same time as I made my way through the crowd, each person moved out of the way for me as if they were compelled to do so. They moved completely out of my way. So much so that I couldn't speak to them or even get a good look at them to get their attention. I tried. I wanted so badly to reach out to them. I felt so badly for them. Everyone was so sad. I could feel their loneliness, their pain, their suffering. It was so very dark. More so than night time. Different even than night time. Almost as if there was an opaque, black, blanket of demonic fog or haze that had settled in around the city market place.

I tried for a while to reach out to the people. Then I just stood and watched and cried.

As Jesus spoke to me,

"Be the light you were meant to be. Shine for me. Let me shine through you. Come walk with me and let  my Holy Spirit have full control. See Great and marvelous things. The glorious mysteries of  my kingdom. You, you, are what I desire. I gave myself for you. I gave myself for them. Do you love me ? I love you. Walk with me. Take my hand and walk with me to the true promised land. See the glory of the God all around. Share what I have given you....with those in darkness. I love you ....love them for me."

My life flashed before my eyes

So yesterday, for a brief moment in time, I actually thought my time was up.

I though I was being called home. 

It was truthfully very disconcerting. Not because I am afraid of death,  (as I look at death, for me anyway, one who knows her creator and has been washed in the Blood of Lamb as but a door to eternity with my Lord) but rather I found myself suddenly having visions of people in my head. People I have neglected to reach out to in love and forgiveness and in the name love/Yeshua. I truly believe I had one of those near death experiences where your life flashed quickly before you. Only what flashed before me were very selective pieces of my life. Each having to do with areas of my life that still need tending to in love and mercy.

I was sitting at my desk at work as usual. When suddenly I experience a deep, excruciating, sharp pain in the left side of my chest. It took my breath away. All at once, I could no longer discernibly hear the customer on my head set, all I heard was **babbling in the distance** my vision became cloudy, I stood up and cried out to a neighboring employee on my team, "Help...I need help!"
I don't personally don't remember what happened from that point until paramedic squad got there. My manager was sitting next to me. I just remember seeing her  and about  five fire fighters and they were all asking a bazillion questions. Apparently I had given my manager my husbands phone number and asked her to call him. I was not unconscious during this time, but totally unaware.
I was taken to the hospital by life squad and keep there  for 7.5 hours. They conducted several blood test a CT of my head and called my cardiologist.

From what they saw at the E.R. I did not have a heart attack.

Thankfully, MY LIFE IS IN GOD'S HANDS. :)

I do have atrial fibrillation. I have been on medication for this for several years now.
So I I will be having some extensive testing this week to check for blood clots, narrowing of the arteries as well as total heart muscle function.

I didn't have a heart attack. But I am still exhausted. Apparently there are others out there that have these kind of "a-symptomatic" A-fib attacks quite often. That is just HORRIBLE! Seriously, I feel terrible.

More thank that. I can't stop thinking about the vision I had as it all took place.
If I were to walk away with ONE thing from all of this it would be;
To NOT to put off until tomorrow what/who the Lord puts in my path to minister to today.
As I will be held accountable for everything I have done and everything I have not with what He has given me.
None of knows when  our time is up here in this life.
We should never be so arrogant to think, "OH, I am not going any where for a LONG time!"
For God and God alone is the make an finisher of all life.

Something to think about.

If you are reading this. 

That means you are still alive. 

What are YOU going to do with YOUR TODAY?

After all....you may not be given a TOMORROW.

Worst Day EVER!

Every have one of those days when no matter how hard you try to  just do everything right no matter what - everything  wrong happens instead. From the moment you wake up on the morning you begin to drop things. The words come out of your mouth all jumbled. You forget your lunch on the counter. It starts pouring rain which causes every idiot driver to drive directly in front of you on the way to work causing you to arrive late and forcing you to park all the way in the far end of the parking lot. Of course it isn't until you make it to the employee entrance that you discover you realize your I.D. card is in your other jacket and have to walk all the way around to the front of the building to be let in by security. It is also at this point that you realize your wallet (and I.D.) must have fallen out of your purse in the car and there is no way you are about to walk through all that rain to get money for lunch.  So you just look at the security person with a major death stare...and carry on. Oh yeah. Me too.

So what? Never had one of THESE days? Come on now.

 Everyone has bad days....Right?

Well.   This is true.    I have actually had this day.

So what do you do about it?

Heck if I know.             I try and make FLOWERS.  Sometimes it actually works.   :)

A Word for the Shepherds

Ezekiel 34: 2-6

 ¹ The word of the LORD came to me:

 ² “Son of man, prophesy against the shepherds of Israel; prophesy and say to them: ‘This is what the Sovereign LORD says: Woe to you shepherds of Israel who only take care of yourselves! Should not shepherds take care of the flock? ³ You eat the curds, clothe yourselves with the wool and slaughter the choice animals, but you do not take care of the flock. ⁴ You have not strengthened the weak or healed the sick or bound up the injured. You have not brought back the strays or searched for the lost. You have ruled them harshly and brutally. ⁵ So they were scattered because there was no shepherd, and when they were scattered they became food for all the wild animals. ⁶ My sheep wandered over all the mountains and on every high hill. They were scattered over the whole earth, and no one searched or looked for them."

Who Will Go?

Who will go and find my lost sheep?

Who will go and who will seek?

Who is willing to leave the prestige?

For canyons and crevasses to return them to me?

Who of my under-shepherds will be like me?

And leave the many for the one you can’t see?

Who will tend to the ones who’ve run off?

Are there any of you willing to count the cost?

Many are your words in your houses built by men.

Now is the time to let them rule your hearts.

Go!

Find my lost sheep and bring them in!

"What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off? ¹³And if he finds it, I tell you the truth, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off. 

¹⁴In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should be lost."

Matthew 18:12-14