I finally opened it.....

The large manila envelope I got in the mail a while back. We are talking like months ago. I just today decided to open it up. I know what you are thinking. Why did I wait so long to open it? Well, let's just say deep down inside I knew what was in it.

Memories. 
    I have been waiting until I knew I had the emotional fortitude to be able to sift through all the old photos and letters from years past.  Well, today was the day I opened the envelope. I thought I was ready. Apparently I was wrong.

I am beginning to think I may never have been ready for what awaited me inside that envelope.

Strange how we never forget some things, some memories - how some memories seem to stand out more than others. Then by the simply reading old letters or looking at old photos we are not only reminded of  those times in our lives - but they become yesterday to us once again.

I struggled at first as I pulled the content out of the envelope. Seeing there were letters and photos from me to my father and mother who have long since passed on. Then as I briefly sifted through I noticed too there were cards and letters from my children to my parents, their grand parents. More photos and pictures from the grand children to the grand parents. A plethora of photos from three generations and what I will describe as love letters from grand parents, parents , children and grand children. Quite wonderful actually. Still, as I slowly peeled away photo after photo in what seemed to be in no chronological order, as I read each little post card and letter I wept.

Yes, I wept. I also laughed a little. Mostly though I wept.

I will do my best to explain why I wept and laughed.
Also I am going to post some of the pictures just to give you an idea of what I am looking at - Total mixture of time periods - brings such JoY and laughter!
As for the sorrow I feel that has caused me to weep. Well, there are two things that cause me this grief. One - I really miss my mom and dad.
Two - When I read the notes and letters and see all the photos of my precious family when my kids were young, it breaks my heart even more to think about the fact that my sons have become estranged. All the good memories with the family -  my not understanding why they have left - this just breaks my heart.

       After I got through the entire contents of the envelope.

After I laid my case before the Lord.


I realized, yet again, that I needed a little help swallowing this big dose of reality life was dishing out to me at the moment. Well, maybe  more than a little help. I was a wreck!
So sitting on my bed. Face in my hands. All weepy eyed and  pitiful I just waited for the Holy Spirit to rescue me - once again - and He did - once again.

The Lord is so faithful. He knows exactly what we need - when we need it and how we need to receive it.                                                                        
                                                                        

Like a gentle breeze, softly He spoke straight to my spirit. Gently and yet with all the power of His Word,
 "Amy, give it all to me. Leave what is behind behind you. Do not let the past keep you from receiving your miracles of today. Today's miracles are stepping stones to tomorrows answered prayers."
                                                 



When the Holy Spirit spoke these words to me I had a sudden remembrance of certain promises the Lord had given me. Certain prophetic words, visions and dreams. Some of which have already come to pass. Some of which I am watching  unfold even today in my life and others the Lord, I believe was trying to encourage me to stay the course, be strong and very courageous. Something the Lord has said to me many times just these last 10 years.

It has been rough these last few years.  Exceptionally so. More than I can say. In the end, by the grace of God alone,  I have been faithful and passed the test. My accuser has not been victorious over me. Still, my heart has taken a beating and my family, my loved ones have had to live through the trials as well.



I am thankful beyond measure for those few faithful loved ones that have been by my side and loved me while I have endured this sadness and broken heart. 

It is time to move on. For the Lord is intending on answering some prayers! Time to lay down some stepping stones....time to enjoy My Miracles of Today!

Happy posts from now on!