Matthew 10:37
"Whoever loves his father or mother more than he
loves me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than he
loves me is not worthy of me."
How many times have we as believers heard this
or read this scripture verse?
I know, speaking for myself, more times than I
can recount.
To be honest and completely transparent here,
this is one of those verses that after awhile those of us who have not lived
through this verse, (most likely) may tend to breeze right over it.
I mean seriously, it’s hard to truly understand,
comprehend, what our LORD is saying here, if we have not had to do, just that,
“Choose between our precious Messiah and someone we love.”
Well, the time of not personally living through this verse, has come to and
end and the season of understanding has begun. At least for me.
It did take some time. It didn't happen all at once. Just like seasons gradually
come about, so my understanding of this verse would awaken. Like a snow squall that
arises suddenly to alert us to winters presence. My own flesh and blood would
be the vessel Hashem would use to open my eyes to the heart wrenching truth that
accompanies the depth of this very scripture.
For so long I have kept silent about this. Too
long. Years. I don’t know why.
For the sake of others, I am speaking out now.
I will make this brief. No need for a lot of
details.
It was on a trip to see my son and my grandchildren for the very first time (which did not take place 😢) I was given an ultimatum. Basically, give up my ridiculous idea that Yeshua was God and entertain a whole line of thinking that taught he was a blasphemer.
My answer, “You know I will never give up YESHUA. Never.”
There are two things about that meeting with my
son, that I remember like it just happened yesterday.
I remember the answer coming from my heart up into my mouth without a thought. When I look back at that moment, which I do often, I realize
that was Holy Spirit speaking through me.
I also remember my son asking me a question,
“Is there anything you wouldn’t do for God?”
I answered “No.”
And my son answering, “Me either.”
I think about both things often. Thanking the LORD
for being there for me and being my strength when I did not have the strength
myself. Because I knew, deep down inside, had I known what my son was planning I may not have had the strength to stand up for my beloved Messiah as I did.
Also, I think about and wonder how
my son could answer the question he asked me with the same answer I gave him. Then turn around and treat me with
such dis-honor and contempt. Especially because he confesses to love, honor,
serve and obey the same God as I do.
That was the last time I saw or spoke to my son,
and I have never seen any of my 5 grandchildren.
I have realized that choice daily for
years now.
It is important, at this point that I make sure the reader understand I
love my children, all my children with the same passionate love of a mother. I
hold no ill feelings toward my son for what has happened.
Yes, my heart is broken beyond anything that could be
described in pen and ink. I have written down many times on this blog and
my other blog, feelings of heart ache…. now you know why. Even those expressions
do not come close to describing the pain in my heart. There are other reasons that aren't listed here. But for this post...the pain that is most relevant is the pain a mother feels when a child walks out of her life.
I miss my son.
Even now as I write, my heart (the actual organ)
is crushed with pain. I know I need to let this go. I need to let you
(completely) go. I don't know that I can do that. I don't know that I will ever be able to do that. You are my son. I am your mother. That is how Hashem ordained it. Still, I need to try as I am not well, though I am better when the pain of your
dismissal is not close upon my eyes. So, into Hashem’s hands once again I bid
you leave. I pray you see the light before He calls me home. I have His promise
which I hold dear. That the veil will be removed, and you will see His face, Yeshua Hamashiach. I
know we’ll see each other again. I just really want to see you in the land of
the living. I know all too well the pain of saying good bye to one who’s left already.
I know you love me, son, you told me so. I love you too.
This was a deep, transparent post.
I felt the need to share. I have had more than a
couple of women share with me recently about “similar” situations.
Let us remain strong therefore in the strength
of our Messiah!
My Love by:AmyColleen
There is nothing like your love
Nothing like your love
I have traveled far and wide
I have given all I am
I have found – there is nothing, nothing like your love.
Though some speak of angels covered
in gold
And still other diamonds and rubies
Many others sing and dance with joy
Still I’ve not come close to the love I’ve found
in you
There is nothing like your love
Nothing like your love
I have traveled far and wide
I have given all I am
I have sacrificed - I have paid the price. Every
day I still die
For your love. I’ll do anything for you, my love
For you bought my life with yours
Everything I have - it belongs to you my LORD
There is nothing like your love
Nothing like you my love
Simply nothing like you my LORD
💓
Simply nothing like you my LORD
💓
