I'm in a weird mood

Fasting, praying, weeping, and now writing... Still I am not done . But this is a start.

Today has been one of the most difficult I have had to endure in a very long time. 

It plain ol' started out bad. You know, the kinda day where you wish you could have a do over? I had a terrible time sleeping last night. So much on my heart. Then when I finally did get to sleep the alarm woke me up extra early and I couldn't get back to sleep and that left me with a migraine! The hot water heater had turned off in the night and there was NO hot water for my much needed shower - ugh - and by the time I finally made it out to work (15 minutes later than I should have) the trash truck was parked right in front of my driveway loading up my neighbors spring cleaning 12 loads of trash! I had to wait 7 precious minutes for them to move the truck! Which may not seem like very long to many but at my "call center" job could mean the difference between the unemployment line or not!

Well I did eventually make it to work - miraculously on time - exactly on time - ( we have a grace period of 5 minutes). Thank you Lord!  

No sooner had I logged in did the calls start streaming in....oh my....between the angry people calling in and my lack of sleep and my broken heart I think I have come to the conclusion I need a career change!

I am hitting the street and becoming a Blues Singer!

I mean I have what it takes. Seriously. Even my husband agrees with THAT part. I can * S I  N G *  the Blues like no bodies business! I certainly have enough original material to keep the "soul" factor going that is for sure! So, hey, why not...?

Take a look at David. As in KING David from the Bible. Look at HIS writings.

He was pretty much a biblical blues musician -yeah -I think so.

My blues....would have a huge variance in range and would be more of a reaching out to heaven and God....."true blues".....But like King David, always at the end of his Psalms, he brings it around to what he knows is truth, God delivers.

That is what I would do.

Yep....that is what I would do.

Love has got me down. Not *romantic* love. Just relational love. Between people in the body of Christ.

The love of my fellow brother and sister made in the likeness of God Almighty.

The love of my own children who I carried and loved and raised and prayed over their whole life.

Love that should be - Love that is- Love that has been stolen by the mirror of deception temporarily to be returned to me one day by my Papa God.

Yes LOVE has got me down.......Love has got me down....

I got love sick blues for all of you-s.....love sick blues....

Love has got me down

Can't you see you simply need love - love - love

Don't you know you gotta let go of bitter love - love - love

There 's no such thing as holding back

There's no such thing as choosing who

There's no such thing there's only love- love -love

There' only love - love - love

If you love me

If you love me

If you love me

Cause I---am the vine

You are the branch

I love everyone

and you have to take a stand......have to take a stand

Love - love -love-there's only love - love - love 

My love for you -

Where's your love for me?

I'm in the one you don't want to see -

that's me

John 15 

Complete Jewish Bible (CJB)

15 “I am the real vine, and my Father is the gardener. ² Every branch which is part of me but fails to bear fruit, he cuts off; and every branch that does bear fruit, he prunes, so that it may bear more fruit. ³ Right now, because of the word which I have spoken to you, you are pruned. ⁴ Stay united with me, as I will with you — for just as the branch can’t put forth fruit by itself apart from the vine, so you can’t bear fruit apart from me.

⁵ “I am the vine and you are the branches. Those who stay united with me, and I with them, are the ones who bear much fruit; because apart from me you can’t do a thing. ⁶ Unless a person remains united with me, he is thrown away like a branch and dries up. Such branches are gathered and thrown into the fire, where they are burned up.

⁷ “If you remain united with me, and my words with you, then ask whatever you want, and it will happen for you. ⁸ This is how my Father is glorified — in your bearing much fruit; this is how you will prove to be my talmidim. [disciples]

⁹ “Just as my Father has loved me, I too have loved you; so stay in my love. ¹⁰ If you keep my commands, you will stay in my love — just as I have kept my Father’s commands and stay in his love. ¹¹ I have said this to you so that my joy may be in you, and your joy be complete.

¹² “This is my command: that you keep on loving each other just as I have loved you. ¹³ No one has greater love than a person who lays down his life for his friends. ¹⁴ You are my friends, if you do what I command you. 

¹⁵ I no longer call you slaves, because a slave doesn’t know what his master is about; but I have called you friends, because everything I have heard from my Father I have made known to you. ¹⁶ You did not choose me, I chose you; and I have commissioned you to go and bear fruit, fruit that will last; so that whatever you ask from the Father in my name he may give you. ¹⁷ This is what I command you: keep loving each other!

Complete Scripture John15 click here

A Journey I Never Knew I was Taking

Isaiah 53 says that Yeshua/Jesus..

 "was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows and familiar with suffering...."

Hullo - I know, I know. It's been awhile. This is what I got for ya'

No,  seriously, I have been mega busy with, work, health issues and of course  my new blog - 
"My Life in Pictures."

Have you checked it out yet? You totally should! Something you can check out late at night. Hardly any reading needed as it is 98% pictures!

So anyway - About half way through my "therapy project" (my little nick name for my new blog titled "My Life in Pictures") I had an epiphany of sorts. I realized a great many things. One of which is that it was, just that, a "therapy project".

At this point, I am probably about half way through being finished with my new blog.  Although I would say it is the journey of this task that is the actual accomplishment in itself. The actual therapy of the project, so to speak. Sifting through so many years of my life in photos. Hundreds and hundreds of photos. Hours of my life remembering times I had stashed away, deep down in my heart and mind, for untold reasons. Good and not so good memories. Absolutely joyous occasions and down right gut wrenching, horrific times in my life. Some photos I wish I could share with the world and yet so intimate  and personal I choose to hold them sacredly close only to my eyes.

Why?

Why has the good Lord sent me on this journey at this time in my life?

At first I was unresponsive to this idea. Then I responded with an, "Absolutely not. That's a horrible idea."

Then over the course of a few days the  idea grew on me and my husband, not even knowing this idea came to me from the Lord already, my husband brought this very idea up to me. "Amy, you need to tell your story with pictures. Tell it on line. You are good at that. It may even be good therapy for you."

Well, I chuckled. "You think so?" I responded back. That was the end of the conversation and the beginning of my new blog.

You see the Lord has me living in a whole new dimension of faith right now.  Walking next to Him, closely. Very closely.  He is taking me places I never even thought about going before - ever. Which sounds great, except that generally speaking I have learned that to get somewhere you have never been in the spirit realm you need to do something you have never done before, first. It's a growth thing.

Oh, don't get me wrong here! I want to be close to God! Really close. Closer than I have ever been before. I mean I have prayed all the right prayers.

I have  prayed, "Lord draw me closer to you." - You know that prayer, right?

 and

"Lord, I want a heart like yours." - Sound familiar yet? 

how about

"Lord, take me - ALL of me - make me like YOU!"

or even

"I surrender ALL Lord. I surrender ALL."

Can you remember any of those prayers?

Well I remember ALL of those prayers and then some. I have been praying those prayers for well over 35 years now. I still pray those prayers. Guess what? The Lord has heard every, single one of them. He is currently in the process, and has been for over 35 years now, of answering them  as well. THAT, is one big reason I am finding myself in this place in life.

Oh, it has been quite a journey, to say the least. The Lord has been chipping away at this here piece of coal for a good long time. He finally broke through to reveal the diamond in the rough and now after all these years, no credit to anyone else but Abba, Yeshua/Jesus and Holy Spirit  the Lord is onto the polishing stage! Oh Glory Halleluia! I am finally feeling the smooth side of the polishing cloth in stead of the chiseling tool! Yay!

Trail after trial after tribulation and trial.....ViCtOrY won after ViCtOrY won.....I am worn and tired but Thankful and full of JoY for the Lord has never ceased to be with me and deliver me and always without fail pour out His love and grace and mercy down upon me and my house. Without this I would not be able to even raise my head from the bed, each day. My life, as it is now - the circumstances that surround me day to day, are so overwhelming, that without the aforementioned I would not be here to share this now.

Yeshua IS my life line. Yeshua IS my joy. Yeshua IS my all in all.

So, maybe hard times come your way. So maybe friends, turn their back on you. Lie about you, even betray you.

Maybe. They did the same thing to Yeshua/Jesus!

So maybe, your own children turn away from you. Maybe they keep you from seeing your grand babies. Maybe. How many babies have been aborted and not even BEEN GIVEN THEIR RIGHTFUL OPPORTUNITY/LIBERTY TO GROW UP AND LIVE FOR YESHUA and have a relationship with their creator? Abba Father knows the pain.

Why do we think we are better than our Master?

The Gospel of Matthew in ch10 v24 says - “Students are not above their teacher, nor servants above their master." 

So - bottom line - what ever Yeshua had to endure here while on earth, we too as His students/disciples can also expect  to have to come up against and endure!

Everything we go through - every heart ache, sorrow, pain we experience, our Heavenly Father -  Yeshua/Jesus has experienced or IS experiencing now.

What ever you are feeling now. Come to God. Come to Yeshua/Jesus.

He is waiting.

I remember the very first time I prayed and asked God to show me HIS heart.
To make me like HIM.
I prayed and said, "Lord I want to walk and do things for you where most will not, I want to understand things that most will not take the time to understand.
I want to really know how you feel inside your heart. Please show me Lord."
Well the word of God tells us in Isaiah 53 says that Jesus.. "was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows and familiar with suffering...."

Thank you Lord for hearing my prayers.

A Journey I Never Knew I was Taking
By; Amy Colleen

On a journey I never knew I was taking
I now am nearing the end
I can clearly see he who waits for me
The one on whom I’ve grown to depend

I have learned to hear his voice
To walk by faith and not by site
I have learned to love my Lord
With all my heart, soul and might

I have followed in his foot steps
Sacrificing for those dearest to me
Also for those I do not know
Even when no one can see

Leaving me with a bleeding heart
Betrayed by those I love
Friendless, alone and abandoned
Except by Abba Father above

Only a handful of scattered friends
When it suites them to be around
Still, always I choose to love each one
Until the day I will hear the sound

Of the voice of my Lord Yeshua
“Come thou my beloved AmyColleen”
“Well done good and faithful servant
It is time for glory to be seen!”

My New Blog***JUST UPDATED

I have just update my new blog so click below to view my new blog
My Life in Pictures!
*I am updating and adding new photos to each page daily! So be sure to keep checking back!

Click on the link above to visit my new blog

My life story in pictures.
Thanks for visiting!
Enjoy and please leave me a word or two! 
I love to hear from you!!

Freedom for EVERYone

So apparently YouTube has caved under public pressure. i.e. all the news interviews and letters of support and other means of this video being posted (like on here). I too am glad they came to their senses and reversed their original ruling.

Mind you, It is my belief that everyone who is a citizen of the United States of America should have freedom of Speech. That includes those who believe differently than I do. I have always felt this way.

I love all people. My savior died not just for me but for ALL people. He loves all people and I do too.

Again, I may not agree with everyone's beliefs. i.e. spiritually, politically, or socially. Still I love them.

I have received some feedback since I have posted this video - I wanted to clear that up.

I admire and respect Madeleine McAulay for her boldness and courage to stand firm in what she believes in this day and age.

I would be proud to call her friend.

Shalom  

Madeleine McAulay

46 minutes ago

"After further consideration..." YouTube decided my video does NOT go against their Community Guidelines, and they reinstated it. 

I am posting this video produced by sixteen-year-old Madeleine McAulay- (which has been banned by YouTube because it did not meet their "community guidelines.")

AS a protest against YOUTUBES double standard!

I am also posting a REMINDER that we still live in a FREE COUNTRY

at least for now! See the entire Constitution and all of it's amendments and the HERE.

Article [I]

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redressof grievances.

These freedom's and liberty's we enjoy so much here in the U.S. - freedoms that have been bought and paid for by the blood of so very many fallen soldiers, is freedom across the board! It is not something we can pick and choose who is entitled to receive it! 

Yes - I am heated - this topic really gets my blood boiling! 

Everday I live- work - and breath with people who demand that their voices be heard 

And now

To see those same people take away 

Someone else's voice because it's contrary to theirs?

Oh  - yeah I am hot!