So Everything is Different.....Whatcha gonna do about it?

Okay so one day you wake up and everything is just different.

"Different" than what it was yesterday....even different than what you thought it was going to be tomorrow....just so "different".

Why?

I don't think I like it. I mean I am all about change and all, just ask my Dad. He gave me the nick name Camile, short for Chameleon, because every time I would come for a visit he said I looked so different he didn't recognize me!

After all life is all about change anyway right? But it's the way it "sneaks up on you" that I don't care so much for. Who knows, maybe it's MY fault. It's quite possible I set myself up for the surprise to begin with and it really shouldn't be a surprise at all.

Ah heck! Surprise isn't really the an accurate word/adjective to describe what happens, how I feel about the whole situation. I think I am in denial here so I am going to get brave and admit the truth right now! The more appropriate word to describe how I am feeling is disappointed....suddenly disappointed. That being said I guess I have no choice but to take full responsibility for the way I am feeling at this point in my life. After all, disappointment only comes when one sets too high of expectations.

Hmmm. Of course now that I have said THAT I am thinking, re-thinking and wondering... is it really too much to expect that after you spend your entire life investing into someone, loving and praying for them they would at the least return your calls or e-mails every so often? (Flesh of your flesh and bone of your bone.)

I know, I know, there is so much more that goes into it...into relationships. I understand. Because of the Fathers love for me and Jesus love for me and Holy Spirit alive within me, thankfully I can love, continue to love unconditionally. :) Even when it hurts so much. Even when I don't understand. Even when I find myself feeling disappointed.

That is what is so beautiful about God's love....and the fact that it is greater and wider and fuller and because of it I am able to overcome my "feelings" ~ it enables me to love back those that otherwise in this world give me reason not to love them back.

I know I am rambling. Thanks for listening....lol....if you are.

You know life is hard and and full of opportunities for disappointments, I truly believe for just about everyone. There may be a few people out there that don't have many sorrows but most everyone has "something" that they have gone through or will go through.

The key is how will we handle these disappointments in life?
Will we choose to forgive when forgiveness is an issue?
Will we choose to love?

God's greatest gift was our free will.

What will you do with yours?


I am gonna choose to love.



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In a dream I think I am ~ Nothing is the same

My family is all gone ~ No one knows my name

The children are all grown up and moved away

No one seems to hear a single word I say

What has happened since yesterday?

Wake me up from this nightmare I pray

Why is everything so different today?

Why can’t things be like yesterday?

I lay me down to sleep dear Lord

With your heart I am in one accord

Although everything is different to me

I know in my heart you will help me see

All things will work for me

Because I love you, and you love me

No matter how different things may be

I choose to surrender in love everything

I give my life a fresh and a new

Knowing you will see me through

Because you love me and I love you

This alone will see me though

Knowing you love me and I love you

AmyColleen

The Ticket Master

Wow. I had a life changing dream last night.
Seriously. I mean, I have had dreams before. Seriously prophetic dreams that still to this day amaze me. Some that have been fulfilled and some, that have yet to be fulfilled.

This dream, however, was more of a "now" vision, kinda~moment in time revelation, taking place in my spirit while my body was asleep.

I have had these type of dreams before and they have affected me deeply as well. This one however definatley takes the cake. It was up close and very personal. With a message that both enlightened me, broke my heart and encouraged me to continue on this journey, we call life.

I know at this point those that are reading are hoping that I will, and most likely are expecting to have me share the details of my dream. Normally I do share my dreams. This time however, because of the intensity and personal nature of this vision I am not going to share the dream, at least not in it's entirety. However I will share the general message behind the vision as I believe it will benefit every believer.

I can not get that part out of my heart, my mind or my head.

I have a very serious question to ask. It demands you complete and very honest answer.
No one is looking or can hear you or read your mind or see with in your heart. No one but the Lord himself...and you , of course. So be completely honest.

Have you ever gotten tired? Grown weary or discouraged along a journey?
Perhaps in this life even.

Have you ever been at a place in your life...OR...Are you at a place right now where if given the choice ~ free and clear ~ by God himself ~ Abba Father ~ to go home or stay here, guilt free....you would choose, to Be With the Lord in Heaven ?

It's okay. be honest. You know Paul was. Given the choice and honest about it.
Paul says in Philippians that for the love of the body of Christ he would remain in this life. (All through the first chapter he talks of his suffering and the benefits of going "home to be with the Lord" posted below) I have read this many times any wondered of his amazing love for the body of Christ. It wasn't until last night, my dream....my vision....that I realized it was truly his love for the body of CHRIST....the PERSON of JESUS in every soul he reached.

My Vision
(shortened version)

I was being escorted to an airport. It was a supernatural airport. Nothing like we have here. Nothing like I have ever seen on earth. My escorts were very tall, dressed in white. One had very dark curly hair and the other had wavy yellow hair. My daughters were with me.
I had a back pack with me. It was very heavy. I was also carrying a blanket and a phone and a Bible. I walked over to a table that was cleared off. Put my back on it and pulled out my ticket. Which was a mess; it was three different parts. It was a gold ticket, a silver ticket and a white ticket. I couldn't get it to fold up nice and neat in the envelope. Which seemed to bother me. So I just tucked it under my arm and I tried to stuff my blanket and Bible and phone in my back pack. Lauren and Kelly were just standing there, it was as if they had no idea I was leaving. My guardians spoke up and said, "There is really no need to try and pack that bag as you will not be needing that where you are going."
I didn't say a word. I just turned around and saw the Ticket Master sitting down. The one in charge of handing out the tickets.
Again, one of my guardians spoke up, "You know, HE PAID $6000.00 for your ticket so you could be here." (with an emphasis on the he paid...and here)

I immediately turned around, left my bag on the table walked over to the Ticket Master.
He was not handsome by worldly standards, but I was oddly very drawn to him. He had reddish, brown hair. He was meek in manner and I asked him if it was true about him spending $6000.00 and buying me my ticket so I could be here with my girls. He didn't speak, he just nodded yes. Suddenly I just began to cry. That's when the Ticket Master looked in my eyes and I recognized him. I began to weep and I fell into his arms and just cried and cried and cried.
"I'm so sorry...I'm so sorry...I'm so sorry...I'm so sorry..I love you... I love you....Thank you sooo much."

I was actually conflicted for a while. (getting back to the beginning of this post) I knew what was waiting for me on the other side of the flight. In fact the Ticket Master had handed me a new ticket while we were together. It wasn't three parts. It was one golden ticket.
I knew the Ticket Master would prefer that I stay but I could also see pure love in his eyes when he looked at me. He was letting me make the decision.
We spent some more time together....talking.

What I came away with last night was that Jesus (the Ticket Master) paid the price not so that I could just "Go to Heaven".
Although that is part of it, a BIG PART. Spending eternity with our creator, Abba Father, Jesus, Holy Spirit ~ but Jesus paid the price so I could Spend time with HIM HERE!
So HE could Be the Ticket Master and allow others safe passage into eternity and into a relationship with Him here on earth as well!


I am giving my ticket away....what are you going to do with yours?



Philippians 1:20-24

Paul’s Life for Christ

^"20 For I fully expect and hope that I will never be ashamed, but that I will continue to be bold for Christ, as I have been in the past. And I trust that my life will bring honor to Christ, whether I live or die. ²¹ For to me, living means living for Christ, and dying is even better. ²² But if I live, I can do more fruitful work for Christ. So I really don’t know which is better. ²³ I’m torn between two desires: I long to go and be with Christ, which would be far better for me. ²⁴ But for your sakes, it is better that I continue to live."