How?

Hello!
You know it's been along hard week. I am no rocket scientist!
(like my son heehee) but I do my job, and I like to think I do a good job at it!

However sometimes, it can be a bit overwhelming.....OH come on, let's get REAL here! Okay! Okay! It is a very stressful job almost every day I am there!

Praise the Lord I am working during these tough economic times when there are so many that are not!

I really am thankful...:)

However, there is this one call in particular that got to me this week. I am still thinking about it.

First, why do people have to be soooo evil? I know....I know. I am not really asking you for the answer. I am just shaking my head in words. Even after all that I know and understand about human nature I find it so terribly disturbing and heart breaking when I come across some one as hurtful as this woman was.

"I" am not hurt. She was just so intentionally hurtful. I could very well have been devastated had I been someone else. Instead, I shook it off....(HARD as it was)...an said a prayer for her....several actually; and have been thinking about her since.

You see this woman actually took a good 15 minutes or so and many choice words; words I would never repeat, and began to literally curse me....going on to say she hoped I would get married and have kids and that me and my family; that all sorts of horrible things would happen to each of us. (she went on in detail) All of this while I was helping her on the phone. I unable to disconnect per company policy. I had to sit and take it.

I took a minute after this call and said a prayer.

Honestly, how does HE do it? Jesus.

He hears everything we say to Him....even if He did say anything back to us in retaliation .....most of us wouldn't hear Him.......but truth is. Jesus doesn't say anything back. He didn't here-then.........and doesn't now when we talk to him now.

HOW?....I wish I knew the secret. I wish I had the same ability. The Word of God tells me I do.....but some how I keep messing up....Oh I have my good days and my not so good days....and as life goes on and I grow in Grace my good days thankfully seem to out number the not so good days.

I want to be able to love all the time like Jesus....but HOW?

How?

How do you do it?

Love all the time?

Never receiving in return and then,

You, love again.

The same ones all over again;

Even, after they’ve crucified you?

How?

Oh Lord, I try; I really do.

I try so hard to love like you;

Then, when I am hurt so badly all over again;

I try to love but instead I find I cannot love like you;

Instead, I cry.

How?

Like driving nails;

Words like nails pierce my hands.

Watching the blood drip from my wounds,

I stand.

I want to forgive but I can’t.

I think of you;

How, you forgave me.

Still I try; instead I cry;

How?

Like a razor sharp sword;

I feel the intentions of another’s heart tear mine apart.

I faint in despair, knowing I need to get up.

Crying out to you for help;

Knowing, you have been here before me.

I know I must get up; but how?

How?

Lord, help me.

Please help me.

You lived the life betrayal told.

You died the death all life beholds.

You loved and loved still more,

Like, no other who has ever lived before.

How?

How do I love and love again?

How do I forgive and let the hurt take its mend?

When all my eyes clearly see is the bitter end before me?

Lord you know.

You walked the road to Calvary.

How?

You are the master at loving the unlovable;

Be the master of my heart.

Don’t let the life from me depart without first showing me the key.

I want to love like you.

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