Okay fine, I give up. I am sitting here and I can’t think of any eloquent words to put to my feelings. None the less my feelings are here and unrelenting. Seems I must pound away at this key board to try and give vent to them or something as my heart feels as though it is about to explode out of my chest if I don’t do something.

It has been so long since I have felt this way. Or perhaps I have never felt this way before. Come to think about it, I don’t believe I ever have felt quite like this. How could I? I have never been here before….in my life. Not at this exact spot. I could never have experienced these exact disappointments….feelings.

Try as I do, I come up short in the verbiage category for labeling my whereabouts emotionally. I am usually so good about this sort of thing. What has gone wrong?

Seems all I can do is tap my foot and start to cry - then make myself stop - but WHY? - Why do I always make myself stop? - Is it because I feel that I am not allowed to cry because “I know” all that God has promised to me and “in this” I must “stand firm” and if I cry - what???? – if I cry – what??? Am I afraid I will melt or something??

Isn’t even the warrior allowed to become a child in the presence of the King….once in a while?

Well….okay enough already. I know I can hear you now.

If you don’t like the post then you don’t have to read it.

Honestly, there always seems to be a reason, other than simple self gratification, for my postings.

Someone else out there is probably going through a similar situation; struggling with overwhelming disappointment and not understanding why the Lord has not intervened on your behalf. Well, I don’t have the answer, specific to your situation, but I would like to share the following with you and hope it speaks to you.

Also remember ~ we are never alone!

"My Grace is sufficient my Child."

My sweet child, I want you to know, I understand it's not easy to let go.

To open up and trust again; to let the hurt take it's mend.

I judge you not. I see your heart. From you my Spirit will not depart.

I know where you came from; the dust of the earth. I know, I am your self worth.

In your faithfulness, Heavenly Daddy delights. Seeing how you long to please him with all of your might.

All the while missing the voice you so long to hear, saying ever so sweetly,

"My Grace is sufficient my Child."

"My Grace is sufficient for thee. My strength is made perfect in your weakness you see.

So rise up child. Take hold of my hand. Trust in my grip. I will see that you stand.

Open your heart to the body of Christ, for together, not separately, you will be my bride.

Know that I am always watching ore thee; that my love for you lasts for eternity.

Take the time to listen so you will hear, when I say ever so sweetly,

"My Grace is sufficient my Child."

I love you.

Jesus