Hmmmmm Emotions

Well here I am again just typing away on this here keyboard. No particular direction in mind. Just typing what comes to mind. Sad thing is. I have a feeling it is going to be sad. Why you ask? Well I have had a couple of very sad few weeks. Well, it's not like the weeks were any more sad than normal I guess. It's just a culmination of emotion of the last several months and well one can only take so much I guess and the well begins to overflow.

Personally I don't give a stale bean what anyone says or thinks on this matter but I firmly believe woman are much stronger than men when it comes to their emotions. Oh I know women have like 70% more prolactin, (the hormone that is responsible for producing tears in the body) but when it comes to handling emotions men just don't know how. It is my experience that the majority of men would rather not handle their emotions thus do what ever it takes to avoid them at all costs; even at the detriment of others. Including those they care about most.

Mind you....I would like to add here. I don't think that they do this on purpose. (hurt the ones they love) It's just that their need and /or inability to handle/deal with their emotions out weighs their ability to see how their willful act of not dealing with their emotions on any given life situation is at any given time hurting someone they truly do care about.

None the less..They do, do it and it does hurt those they love.

This is where we as the emotionally stronger sex need to step in and understand and hang in there.

Help out and understand. Forgive and pray and even cry out to God.

Because it isn't always just grown adults that throw us for a loop, (I think it might be easier if it was. more frustrating some times, yes, but easier) Sometimes it's our own kids or grand kids. We're not supposed to get tired or frustrated with them, right? Well, it happens. They are only people too. Thank you Lord for your love and grace.

I give up

I just give up

I can’t take the stress anymore - I wasn’t created to bare this kind of load.

I was not created to be - the helpmate - the mom - the friend - the amour bearer - the battle fighter - the liaison - the peacemaker - the fire fighter - the care giver - the nurse the taxi- the lover - the house cleaner - the trash can - the life coach - and - in being all these things to everyone in my life - seemingly - a failure to all who need me.

O dear, precious Lord, a vessel I try to be, for you to live through me, but no one sees anything but what they don’t want me to be. Telling me constantly how I need to be, more than I can seem to be.

Lord, please help me!!!

I give up.

I am who you created me to be.

I love who you created me to be.

Tell me, Lord will I ever just get to be - who you created me to be?

Will anyone ever just let me be me?

All I want is to do what you ask of me.

Lord, please?

Won't you help me?

I give up.

Lord, come and be who you want me to be; in me.

Live in me - move through me - love in me, all around me. Everything I come in contact with.

I want to become a living extension of your Holy Spirit, in the flesh.

If I have to live on earth; I want to be crucified with you, so the the life I live I solely live in you.

So the life I live I live by your faith. So you can have all of me. So you can live in me.

Lord - please, help me!

I give up

I give it all up - to you.