It is quite beautiful; I must say.

Here I am.
I have tried so many times to get to where I am right now in life, to no avail.
Yet here I am this time, right where I am, not even having "tried" to get here, this time.
Amazing.
Simply and profoundly amazing.
Whose to understand it?

I guess I could get upset that it took me so long, years in fact, to reach this place. Especially when I look back and see the path I took and realize I could have taken a much easier and quicker path.


But why waste the energy? What good will it do me to get upset and dwell on what could have been? What good is hindsight?
Instead I think I will just sit back and rest. Rest in the peace I have knowing I have finally reached the destination spiritually regarding this situation. Goodness knows I could use the rest. It has been such a struggle to get here.


Perhaps now that I have come to this place and I am filled with the peace that passes all understanding, having come from trusting in my Lord's word, in his unmatched love. Perhaps now I can just sit here and with my Lord ever by my side watch as He brings to pass everything He has promised to me.


I am actually. It is quite beautiful; I must say.
Though not everything is finished, I know one day every one will come to pass.


I have lived a good while. My time is not yet through. I have lived many, many hardships and I am quite certain I am not through with them. I have suffered emotionally, physically, spiritually, relationally, financially,materially and then some. What I am just realizing now in life is the truth of God's word that ...."He does work ALL THINGS TOGETHER for the good of those that love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

Oh precious Lord Jesus,Yeshua my Lord
Thank you for hearing my heart cry
All of these years, all of my tears
Not letting a day or night pass by
Without your presence, your sweet Holy Spirit
To comfort, to lead and to guide
For hearing my hearts cry
Answering all of my prayers Lord
Always staying close by my side

I love you

AmyColleen

For a presious new friend and a sister in Jesus....

"My Grace is Sufficient my Dear"

My sweet sister, I know that it's true; Times right now, are hard for you.

You find yourself in a place of your own, struggling not to feel so alone.

Knowing within the promise of God's word, you stand and proclaim all that you've heard.

Standing tall, Jesus by your side, your feelings you try so hard to hide.

Not wanting to cry or disappoint those you love, especially your daddy up above.

All the while missing the voice you so long to hear, saying ever so sweetly,

"My Grace is sufficient my Dear."

My sweet sister, I want you to know, God understands it's not easy to let go.

To open up and trust again; to let the hurt take it's mend.

He judges you not. He sees your heart. From you his Spirit will not depart.

God knows where you came from; the dust of the earth. He knows Jesus is your self worth.

In your faithfulness, our Lord delights. Seeing how you long to please him with all of your might.

All the while missing the voice you so long to hear, saying ever so sweetly,

"My Grace is sufficient my Dear."

"My Grace is sufficient for thee. My strength is made perfect in your weakness you see.

So rise up child. Take hold of my hand. Trust in my grip. I will see that you stand.

Open your heart to the body of Christ, for together, not separately, you will be my bride.

Know that I am always watching ore thee; that my love for you lasts for eternity.

Take the time to listen so you will hear, when I say ever so sweetly,

"My Grace is sufficient my Dear."

I love you.

Jesus

Baaa baaa - Black Sheep

Someone asked me, "Are you going to the conference?"
I answered quite simply, "No."

Wow...have I changed.
I mean just in the last few years.
The way I think, the way I look at things,
my priorities in life...both spiritual and natural.
I believe for the better.

Although some, after reading this will differ in their opinion. They will probably think I have gone off the deep end. That's okay, just means I am getting closer to the Master! I have always been one of the Black Sheep of the Holy Herd!

It seems the more time I spend getting to know my creator, falling in love with my Lord, really learning to understand the will of my Heaven Father. The more I realize I have had it all wrong and I need to turn it all around....my way of thinkg that is.

My way of thinking and my expectations of others, my expectations of God himself. Even possibly expectations of myself, and truly surrender all, absolutely everything without resolve, every day, to Him, Yeshua Hamashiach, my Master, Savior, Friend....who I so boldly confess to live for and would not hesitate to die for.

We live in a day and age unlike none other. The love of God is much needed in the world. I have known this love. I know this love. It would be a sin for me to keep it to myself.

There was a time not too long ago when I would rush to gather together with others like myself who know the love of God, to worship and bask in His presence. Time and time and time again. Godly Gluttony, if you will. I would seek out every worship conference, open heaven conference and bask in the "glory" as long as I could.

~ Please ~ Don't get me wrong worshiping the Lord is a good thing. However, Forgetting about the heart of God is not...and that is what the Lord has been speaking to me.

The heart of God....?...What is it ...WHERE is it...where can we find it????

His heart is in the faces of the poor.....His heart is in the souls of the lost.....His heart is in the broken home...and the reconciliation of the family. All of which can be found and most of which are found, outside of the church celebration services.

When we spend so much time in conferences that we are too tired to share God's love in a practical way....to hear that small still voice so we can be used in those divine appointments;
or if we are spending our financial resources on social gatherings or conferences so we are left with nothing to meet the very real needs of our own neighbors and or missionaries...this is NOT the will of our Heavenly Father.


This is not to say (and I am not saying) that we should not gather together, goodness no!
But of course Paul even tells us , not to forsake the gathering together of the saints!
I absolutely LoVe fellow shipping with my church family!!

It's just that as these last days close in on us and I feel in my spirit a certain heaviness and urgency I would think that the church as a whole would feel it as well and come together to reach out to the community as a whole; believing and non believing alike; to offer the Word in Truth and power in simplicity through the name of Jesus.
Sadly I have not seen this. Instead I have seen a mimicking of the world's ways and desire for the spirit realm with God's Holy Spirit, for what reason I can only think is to try and appeal to a lost and dying generation.

Which I find so very sad, as this does nothing to lift the name of Jesus up or give glory to God for the miraculous that should occur during these gatherings but quite the opposite; it actually brings the name of Jesus down a notch to that of any miracle worker and the miracle itself to the level of any of the new age magic trick .

Simply put...it's not about you.

It's not about me.

It's about them.

Who will GO? That was the question. Not, who will gather over and over and over?

So I was asked a simple question and I gave a simple answer. Although to be perfectly honest my answer was not "simply received". Which is what got me to thinking and praying and now writing this BLOG!

I am going to take the time I would have otherwise spent at the conference with a stranger. The Lord will lead me to them. :)

Time is running out and people need the Lord!

Maranatha!

AmyColleen

The Past........it's a funny thing......

The past is a funny thing.
You can't erase it.
Even if you could, it would completely change your present;
Which you may not want to do at all.

While one may simply just not want to dwell on the past.
It can prove to be somewhat difficult as it truly is the cornerstone to the shaping of ones present and future as well.

So what can you do if you have a past that is less than desirable to think about?
Possibly even quite painful to think about about?

When it is intertwined into the very fabric and tapestry of your life?


The only thing I know to do is the only thing I have ever known to do in any given difficult situation....trust in the one in whom I have believed

I know not anything else to do.

But trust in my God.

He will see me through.

Out with the Old...In with the New

Out with the old and in with the new
Don't look back with the past I am through
Several times I have tried this before
But this time I am walking through a brand new door

Jesus, Yeshua, Master, Savior, Friend
With me from beginning, now until the end
No condemnation, guilt or blame
Just love, grace and forgiveness to help me obtain;

A life fresh, new and free
My life created special just for me
By my father in heaven God above
who created me long ago with much love

So here I go

Just watch me

No turning back

He's set me free

*

Let Go and Let God!

Okay.
You know I don't just Blog to Blog very often but sometimes it needs to be done.

So this has been one incredible year, 2010. To say the least.
In many ways even some what surreal.

It started on a bad note. January was horrible. I have been under a full throttle attack from the enemy since late December. It hasn't let up in the least. I give God praise for his grace and mercy to see me through! Sometimes I wonder how I make through each day. Then I sense God's peace and hear his small still voice and I am reminded how! Sometimes, though it seems unbearable, the pain in my heart....I miss my children so. I haven't talked to them in so long.
And when I feel this pain, I think to myself, "Is this what the Lord feels like when we refuse to talk to Him?"

Then there are so many loved ones of mine that are going through so much right now. HOW can I keep up? HOW can I POSSIBLY pray for them all enough? Oh Lord my heart is sooooo grieved! Between family, work, church, prayer, and my own heart issues.......Lord........Help please!

*** R e G r O u P***
EnOuGh with this PiTtY PaRtY!

You know I was talking to a woman today. What a story she had. You might almost think it were fictional. Poor thing. I was helping her on the phone. She was blind,(she lost her sight due to infection gone bad), hard of hearing, she had no teeth, as they were just recently removed due to the same infection that had taken her eye sight; she had just had her leg amputated; (also due to infection, but from diabetes) and she had just recently fallen due to complications from not being able to see and broken her wrist.

She was so sweet. She had such a wonderful disposition and she was so full of joy. It touch me and broke my heart all at the same time. Made me really think and put things into proper perspective.

You know she called me her "miracle". Me, lil' ol' me. It made me so good and made me realize that my job can be more than just a job at times. It can actually be an extension of who I am - of who God wants me to be. It made me realize I can actually make a difference in this rotten world - by just being who I am - where ever I am. No matter what I am going through or what is going on in my own life.

That's really important to me, especially here lately. As it seems every where I turn, my assertive efforts at making everyone else lives better are returning to me to void and I am coming up empty handed and frustrated when it comes to figuring out my place in the web of interpersonal relational issues. So I am going to rest on what I believe the Lord has shown me this last week or so.

Which is to rest and focus on him and continue to love everyone through His eyes....period.

Key words....REST....and FOCUS...on.... HIM.

I will leave you with this little poem by John Wooton
(Based off of the Parable of the Sower)


We do some work
Then while we sleep
God does the rest
Then we reap!