Hands up - I pick YOU!

Me me me! Pick me!

So, is there anyone out there who can identify with ever having raised your hand in response to a question something like this,

"So who would like to be on my team?"


Then never, ever get picked, ever.

Or perhaps you may remember shooting your hand up in response to a question similar in style to this,

"Who'd like to volunteer to help lead a project with me?"

And then gotten the old hand shot up right back at cha with a, "Slow down there - Just remembered someone already told me they were going to help out. So sorry 'bout that."   Speech added on to boot.

Then there's always the feeling like you are never number one in anyone's book. 

Ever struggled with that one?

Come on now. You're telling me you have never felt like you don't belong where you are? Ever?

(and not in a GOOD way)

You have never felt outta place before...always confident and secure....???

Well great then. If that is YOU - then this blog post is NOT FOR YOU - you can say T.T.F.N.

Tah Tah For Now !

For the rest of us let's continue on....

I know I have always struggled with feeling like the BLACK sheep. No matter what period of my life. Oh,  I understand why, now. I didn't then.

                                                      It's because I am.

For the L O N G E S T time, literally for years; well into adulthood, being so different was a stumbling block for me. Even though I was a believer. I knew the Lord Jesus as my personal Savior.

 I still did not have a grasp on how to embrace the uniqueness of who I was....who God had created me to be.

Every time I began to truly blossom and show characteristic traits of this beautiful creation that God himself created. 

I began to stand out and become more noticeable.
Why? Not because I was better or more beautiful - because I'm not. (reader please don't mis-understand my heart here. I have a reason for saying this)
I began to stand out because of my difference.
The vibrancy of my difference.

Unfortunately, I found that the majority of people, in and out of the church, do not like different! So the more I began to blossom into "AmyColleen" *God's Own Beloved Hand Maiden*(name meaning)

The fewer invites I began to get. The fewer responses to invites, phone calls and such I would receive back and yes when I raised my hand to be picked I was no longer a desirable candidate for anyone's team. No one wanted to be around me any longer.

I guess my difference made others uncomfortable.

I will be quite honest. There were many times I shrink back for a time into  an Amy that wasn't quite all of me, just so I could have some company. I would compare it to a night Lilly. One that goes to sleep during the day and blooms during the night. So beautiful - these Lily's have so much to offer the world. Yet we never get to see them because they wait until the deep dark wee morning hours to bloom.

That's what I did off and on for years. I was Amy during the day with my church family and AmyColleen at night with the Lord. It seemed the happy medium and the only way I could get any fellowship.
One problem. No one ever got a picture of the real me. AmyColleen. Kinda like this beautiful Lily that only blooms at night. Just to get this picture of a night Lily to put on my blog was difficult enough. For a photographer to catch a good shot of one of these is so rare that there are so few pictures on the web to choose from that aren't copy written.


Well here I am all grown up now. Still AmyColleen, Still surrounded by a multitude of people. I still have the choice to be Amy or AmyColleen. I have learned a thing or three. The most important and life changing lesson I have learned (and point of this blog) would have to be that  God does not create junk!

I mean that is the short of the long of it.
We. You and I. We are created in God's image.  We are fearfully and wonderfully created, right?
(hey...if you are reading this and you don't believe this then see me after. i.e. email me call me...see me....we will talk. this DOES apply to YOU as well! )

God, the creator of the universe...of all the things we can and can not see. All the GOOD things....HE does not create garbage. Plain and simple. He is not a man, that he should lie....(that would be Satan, for HE is the father of lies)
So, if me, YOU are created a little different, maybe ALLOT different than people around us than it was NOT A MISTAKE or FREAK OF NATURE.....OR CURSE OR ANYTHING ELSE! The devil, Satan our accuser would VERY much love for us to blame God, our creator, the one who loves......and would very much love for us to listen to the lies that he (Satan) is streaming into our minds through tons of different medians....telling us that we need to be different than we are - in order to receive God's love....but THIS IS A LIE FROM SATAN. The Word of GOD tells us in  Romans 5:6-8
"For when we were still without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly. ⁷ For scarcely for a righteous man will one die; yet perhaps for a good man someone would even dare to die. ⁸ But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

All of this to say and encourage those I know and those I don't know but am aware may be encountering challenges in this same area.

It's okay to be yourself! SOMEONE has to be! 
No one sees things the same way you do. - that's okay.  That is why God created you after all. We are all unique.

Go ahead and don't be afraid to raise your hand!
Stand out and shine!

Baaa baaa - Black Sheep

Someone asked me, "Are you going to the conference?"
I answered quite simply, "No."

Wow...have I changed.
I mean just in the last few years.
The way I think, the way I look at things,
my priorities in life...both spiritual and natural.
I believe for the better.

Although some, after reading this will differ in their opinion. They will probably think I have gone off the deep end. That's okay, just means I am getting closer to the Master! I have always been one of the Black Sheep of the Holy Herd!

It seems the more time I spend getting to know my creator, falling in love with my Lord, really learning to understand the will of my Heaven Father. The more I realize I have had it all wrong and I need to turn it all around....my way of thinkg that is.

My way of thinking and my expectations of others, my expectations of God himself. Even possibly expectations of myself, and truly surrender all, absolutely everything without resolve, every day, to Him, Yeshua Hamashiach, my Master, Savior, Friend....who I so boldly confess to live for and would not hesitate to die for.

We live in a day and age unlike none other. The love of God is much needed in the world. I have known this love. I know this love. It would be a sin for me to keep it to myself.

There was a time not too long ago when I would rush to gather together with others like myself who know the love of God, to worship and bask in His presence. Time and time and time again. Godly Gluttony, if you will. I would seek out every worship conference, open heaven conference and bask in the "glory" as long as I could.

~ Please ~ Don't get me wrong worshiping the Lord is a good thing. However, Forgetting about the heart of God is not...and that is what the Lord has been speaking to me.

The heart of God....?...What is it ...WHERE is it...where can we find it????

His heart is in the faces of the poor.....His heart is in the souls of the lost.....His heart is in the broken home...and the reconciliation of the family. All of which can be found and most of which are found, outside of the church celebration services.

When we spend so much time in conferences that we are too tired to share God's love in a practical way....to hear that small still voice so we can be used in those divine appointments;
or if we are spending our financial resources on social gatherings or conferences so we are left with nothing to meet the very real needs of our own neighbors and or missionaries...this is NOT the will of our Heavenly Father.


This is not to say (and I am not saying) that we should not gather together, goodness no!
But of course Paul even tells us , not to forsake the gathering together of the saints!
I absolutely LoVe fellow shipping with my church family!!

It's just that as these last days close in on us and I feel in my spirit a certain heaviness and urgency I would think that the church as a whole would feel it as well and come together to reach out to the community as a whole; believing and non believing alike; to offer the Word in Truth and power in simplicity through the name of Jesus.
Sadly I have not seen this. Instead I have seen a mimicking of the world's ways and desire for the spirit realm with God's Holy Spirit, for what reason I can only think is to try and appeal to a lost and dying generation.

Which I find so very sad, as this does nothing to lift the name of Jesus up or give glory to God for the miraculous that should occur during these gatherings but quite the opposite; it actually brings the name of Jesus down a notch to that of any miracle worker and the miracle itself to the level of any of the new age magic trick .

Simply put...it's not about you.

It's not about me.

It's about them.

Who will GO? That was the question. Not, who will gather over and over and over?

So I was asked a simple question and I gave a simple answer. Although to be perfectly honest my answer was not "simply received". Which is what got me to thinking and praying and now writing this BLOG!

I am going to take the time I would have otherwise spent at the conference with a stranger. The Lord will lead me to them. :)

Time is running out and people need the Lord!

Maranatha!

AmyColleen