Okay, so I should really
be in bed right now trying to get some shut eye so I can some what function
tomorrow at work. Honestly though, if I were to put this here computer down and
try to go to sleep I would find myself drowning in a lake of tears. Yes, you
heard me right. I said, "a lake of tears". I know I don't normally
show a whole lot of emotion on here (my blog). But this is one of those few
times that I feel as those if I don't release it (my overwhelming emotion) it's
going to come out on it's on through my aching heart, and at this point my
aching heart can't take anymore pain. It's liable to go into massive
cardiac arrest.
Little dramatic, huh? Yeah, well that would be my life at the
moment. Ehh, who am I kidding. That would be my life period!
This world I am living in right now is not the world I grew up in
that is for sure.
Nuclear plants leaking into our oceans and atmospheres.
People filled with such anger that they feel the need to gang up
on a single un-armed adult and beat them to near death with everything but the
kitchen sink. These are men, woman and children and this is not even considered
news worthy.
Children divorcing their parents and siblings.
(I know of this first hand)
Abortion/the murder of innocent life, becoming
birth control and not only every woman's right but every tax payers
and employers responsibility.
And
Love - no where to be found.
In the family? Where? You raise
a child to love and respect and forgive. Then, when they grow up they turn on
you. Spit in your face. Where is the love? The respect? The forgiveness? There
is none.
Perfection. They expect perfection. You have none. You are not
perfect, no one is perfect but God. Still, they see themselves
as righteous in themselves and turn there back on you.
So, love, in the church can you find it there? No. The church is
busy looking for love itself. Busy, busy, busy. Going here, going there. Never
really getting any where. All the while so many in the church just
needing to be loved. Needing someone to love.
How about in the world? Can you find love in the world? Perhaps.
Perhaps if you wander to and fro you will find a love for a time, but noting
that will truly satisfy you deep inside.
No. Not deep inside.
However, I have found it. I have found love.
The love that satisfies. I
have learned through the years. Through the betrayals. The loss. The tears. I
have found HIM who has pursued me. I have found HIM who has followed me and
walked along side me. I have found HIM who has kept me safe, through the fire and the storm. I have found HIM who has held me close when
I was all alone, abandoned and confused. Yeshua is His name.
Since I have
found HIM, who has been pursuing me I have never been the same.
Through all the trials. All the heart ache. All the pain and tears. I know
in my heart HE will turn it around for me. So I know I can make it and in this I
have peace and take JoY.
Because of HIM.
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