The day I met Mary

I met a woman yesterday while I was visiting an old friend. (For privacy sake I will call this woman Mary during this blog post)

Mary was taking a walk through the neighborhood and my friend motioned at her to come over.

And she did. 

Mary came inside the house and the three of us spent the next hour or so chatting away.

What I learned about Mary's state of personal affairs made me very sad and very thankful at the same time. As Mary spoke and I learned of her situation I didn't quite know whether to be shocked and angry or repentant and thankful. I would learn by the end of our time together Mary's true to life story would warrant all four emotions.

It was so sad. Mary's story. You see Mary was about my age. She had raised her four children on her own. She worked two jobs throughout her adult life, barley making ends meet to see to it her family had food on the table and clothes for school and all their needs were met.

To give you an idea of Mary's physical surroundings. 
The house that Mary lives in is not large by any means . I would guess about 1100 sq feet living space. Four bed room, one bath cape cod style home. This house was passed down from her mother. Mary was raised in this house. Now, Mary had raised her four children in this same house. All four of them. Each having grown up and started having a family of their own. 

This is where it gets sad.

One would think. One might at least hope. 

That even after troubled times financially, or even challenging relationship issues due to divorce, (as we can all agree living through broken homes and in tight quarters without a moral compass can breed some disfigured ideas into a young mind - only to leave it fertile ground for relational estrangement)
EVEN STILL -  One would expect at least one of Mary's children would care for her, have a little respect for her. Show her (their mother) a little love.

Sadly, the answer here is no. Worse yet...

Mary is being held captive by her own child - in her own home.

Mary is physically unable to leave her house without sneaking out like a grounded teenager. When she does sneak out she is on foot as her car has physically been taken  away from her by her children.

Mary has been diagnosed with early onset dementia. Her children have gotten her assigned to a nursing home. Even though Mary is not anywhere near  the point of needing full time or even part time living assistance. Her children, as they have put it, "...do not have the time to deal with mom."

So until the nursing home is ready for her Mary needs to hide the little bit of cash at my friends house so her daughter does not take it away from her .Mary has another neighbor who is kind enough to pick up a few things (to eat) here and there from the grocery because her children will not take her any where. At all. (un-believable)

On top of the inconvenience issues Mary's children are very abusive to her.

One child that lives in the house with Mary with her two older teen aged children, is completely verbally abusive to Mary as well.

It is so very sad. Broke my heart to listen to her tell the stories. 

Then my friend looking at me and saying,

"Oh I'm telling you! She ( referring to the daughter) is absolutely horrible! I give her what for! She will look at me and say  &)(*@#$....I won't take it!"

All this to say ------- I know my family relationships aren't what they should be - what God created them to be. Not now they aren't. It hurts. Allot. But when I come across people like Mary. When I hear their stories, (and this isn't the first or only story I have heard like this) It makes me realize that there really is a far worse set of circumstances that could be surrounding me as a mother. *(I can't believe I just said that) But really, the way Mary's children are treating her simply breaks my heart. Yes, not being allowed to see, get to know my grand children or hear from my precious sons is heart wrenching - but - at least they haven't driven up here to Ohio and ganged up on me had me committed to an old age home, stolen all my money, taken my car away from me and curse at me and scream vulgar horrible things to me every day. Seriously, it can always be worse.