Today.
Freezing cold outside.
So thankful to have the warmth of my blanket to cover me.
Laying still in my bed, awake, needing to get up, not wanting to.
Thoughts racing through my mind.
Why?
Why?
I can't seem to reconcile why some would rather cling so tightly to that which is untrue.
That which causes so much pain. That which has caused death, even death.
Why?
I feel my chest tighten. My breath taken away from me. I cough. I cough again. I simply can not breath.
Oh Lord. I love you. I forgive them. I pray for them. Please have mercy.
Do not hold against them what they have done. Surely now, even themselves have fallen into the pit they have dug themselves. They themselves have have fallen prey to the roaring lion who has sought them out. Seeking to devour their very lives. Deceiving them. Making them think non truths ~ "There will be no love - if you confess to truth."
Dear Lord bring healing. Dear Lord, bring deliverance. Holy Father bring reconciliation - complete restoration in spirit, in truth, with all heart, with all soul and all mind. That through all the generations to come your blessings would be passed down not the curses of sin and death.
I have lived through the valley of the shadow of death. I have walked through deepest and darkest times. I am faced even now with yet a deeper valley with yet darker crevices You have seen me through and you will see me through yet again. I have no doubt! Your rod and your staff they have comforted me. They have protected me. You alone have been my guide.
Blinded by swollen eye lids from endless hours of weeping. Unable to open even a sliver to see, you have picked me up and carried me while streams, steady streams - like rain - fell from my eyes down my face across yours as you carried me - you never let go. You let me cry and cry and cry. Until the reservoir to my sadden and broken heart was dry. Gently placing me down on the lush green grass beside the still flowing, crystal water. There I refreshed myself. Completely at rest. Unafraid I slept. Unafraid I took time to heal. Knowing my Shepherd took care to watch over me in the valley.
Lord......I love you. Please, with all that is within me. I pray for this peace to be a part of those who have caused me such pain. I know you see. I know you know who they are. Have mercy. My heart desires nothing but forgiveness, love and mercy for them.
You Lord know better than I how long until I will be called to leave this place. You know the desire of my heart. For you oh Lord are the one who gave me this desire. You oh Lord died for the same reason. If it possible, let it be done in my life time. Your will be done.
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