The Walk

 Wow, so...I got to thinking  today...again.

About that day. That GlOrIoUs WoNdErFuL DAY! I remember it like it was YESTERDAY.

:)

I was walking down the street and I heard my name, 
"Amy."

Okay, you're probably wondering what I'm talking about right? Well I am referring to the day I audibly heard the LORD call my name and save me from eternal damnation.

You see there is a lot of history leading up to that . moment in time. Bringing me to just that place,
on that street in Santa Barbara in 1976. Those circumstances, though quite dramatic, are not what stand out to me. No, it's the walk down Anacapa St that chilly afternoon having lost all hope and in complete despair. On my way to take my own life.  It's The walk I remember and it's the voice of the LORD and what he said to me, I will never forget. 

The experience literally saved my life and that day was the beginning of a whole new me. A new journey.

It was brief. It was powerful. It went like this.

I was 15 years old. I was sitting in  what is probably one of the most beautiful Catholic Churches I have ever seen. Yes, I was raised Catholic.

Huge and glorious.  Arrayed in every way that one would imagine for a Catholic cathedral established in 1782. One might describe it as majestic.
There were stations of the cross that surrounded the pews on both sides of the church. As well as corridors on either side of the church that contained statues of saints with candles for knee pads for lighting and praying. The ceilings were high as the sky and the choir loft was home to a grand pipe organ that filled the cathedral from the back of the altar. Where the outside light shone through a most inspiring, glorious and ominous painting of majestic colors!  I remember this because I spend HOURS just staring at it. Truly....hours. I remember seeing the Star of David.
This was truly, and still is truly a most beautiful sight!

I sat in the church for over 6 hours. I prayed and prayed and prayed. I prayed every prayer I was taught. 

Then I just fell on my face before G-d. Literally fell on my face and began to weep. I cried out to the LORD. I was desperate from all I had gone through in the past 15 years. All I had done. All I had experienced. All I was feeling.

At this point I felt nothing at all but completely alone. Completely lost. Completely desperate. Knowing no other way to escape my torment other than taking my own life, I cried to G-d one more time hoping he might answer and save me,
"Please G-d I don't want to die....But I don't want to live like this anymore....PLEASE G-d if you are CARE make yourself know to me."

I waited a while longer and heard nothing.

I gave up.

I left the church and started The Walk. I just took one step at a time and headed for the beach.

That's when I heard my name,
"Amy."

I stopped and turned around looking for someone as I heard my name.
I didn't see anyone so I continued The Walk.

I heard again,
"Amy. I'm here and I do care. I love you."

That was all it took. At that moment I knew it was G-d and I knew I wasn't alone anymore.

 Ephesians 1:4
In the Messiah he chose us in love before the creation of the universe to be holy and without defect in his presence.