Alone are the Lonely Ones in Deepest Despair

Silence captivates - in a loud unmanageable way
Road blocks of words - deafening stillness lay
Screaming whispers - of deepest despair

Every turn - each breath - every stare

Completely alone - in the midst of a crowd
Every touch point - loneliness surrounds 
You over there - Me over here
Alone are the lonely ones - in deepest despair
************************************

"Alone are the lonely ones in deepest despair."

Oh how I remember - I was once, "the lonely one in deepest despair!"
No more!
I once felt, "alone in the midst of a crowd."
No more!
I once could not stay in a room without ambient noise of some kind, at all times because of the ‘screaming whispers’ of my past. Afraid of the deafening silence.
No more!
I have been set free!
Halleluiah! By the love of Jesus. I have come to receive the Amazing Grace of God and come to know Jesus our Messiah! Through him I have been set free from all the above. I no longer have to be afraid of my own thoughts.

Yes - Sometimes I feel so helpless, because as much as I remember what it was like to live in darkness and despair, (and I do remember) much of the time I feel so helpless. I feel as though I am so ill equipped to be able to adequately share with everyone just how incredibly, wonderfully, awesome, loving, gracious and beautiful the Lord has been and IS to me.
To be able to adequately share how he lifted me up (literally) from death's door. How he put a new song in my heart!!! 

Heaven Awaits

Warm, soft, strong,
His arms hold me close.
Tenderness, peace, love.
He speaks with His eyes.

Together in silence.
Face to face at last.
Tears of joy shed together.
No memory of my past.

A love to die for.
A death to live for.
The two become one.
My Lord and me.

Heaven awaits.

Copy right © All right reserved
AmyColleen

Full Circle - A long road it has been, still the circle is not yet complete.

The Long Road
October 29,2011 
Copyright All Rights Reserved
By: AmyColleenKlapp 

I am created
Warmth surrounds me - pounding heavy drum beats - comfort as each breath inhaled -  the life God chose to use as the cloth from which He knit my individual being - developed day by day

I am loved - I am perfect - completely unaware of what awaits me - created by God placed here by his choice

I am born
Cold chaos - surrounds - sudden brightness  - noise over powering - comforting heartbeats -  separation from the life God chose to use as the cloth from which He knit my individual being

Innocence lost
Trust encircles innocence -  deepening fear - hoovering round my ankles - demons dressed like adults - showering affection - secretly stealing life - nothing left that resembles the cloth from which God knit my individual being

I don’t feel loved- I don’t feel perfect - completely unaware of what awaits me - why did God created me?

Growing up
Alone - crying - hungry in the middle of a crowd - forgotten heart beats - pounding in my head - screaming in my pillow - nightmares in the daytime - wishing I were dead

Crossing over
Deafening sounds of piercing cries - pounding heavy drum beats - fear - each breath inhaled - draws closer death - to the life God knit - my individual being

I don’t want to die -  I hate my life - please if you are real hear my cry

New Life
AmyColleen - Beloved Hand Maiden
“I am here and I do love you”
Bright light - warm soft breeze - surrounding me - drops of rain filling my soul - I am His I know I am clean I am  loved


When I was 16 I gave my life to the Lord Yeshua. After a rough time of it, even for back in those days. I had been through allot for a 16 year old. I shudder even now when I think back on it. I asked the Lord Yeshua to come into my heart and forgive me of MY sin and I forgave those that had sinned against me. I also asked Him to baptize me in His Holy Spirit. I have NOT been the SAME since! Yes life is hard. The Word of God promises us that! The Lord causes it to rain on the just and unjust alike. The Word says that  A righteous man may have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them all;” Psalm 34:19
I am much older now. I have grown kids of my own. Life is surely not what I expected. Praise the Lord!
For the first time since I knew (when I was a small child) I feel good about myself.

I am loved - I am not perfect - completely unaware of what awaits me - created by God for His glory and His purpose

Married Life
Fantasy revealed - dreams - reality births passions of siblings love and hate. Trust and loyalty never had a shot - the cloth from which God knit my individual being

I don’t feel loved - I am not perfect - completely unaware of what awaits me - created by God for His glory and His purpose - God please help me

Motherhood
Overwhelming joy and love - warmth surrounds me - again I hear the drum beats this time it’s much faster - comfort with each breath I inhale - the life God chose to use as the cloth from which He knits my babies individual being - developed day by day.
I stand cradling my tummy ….and remember....as if I could almost ….remember...being where you are.
The moment I saw you - eyes full of tears - heart full of love - I drew you close to my breast - Held you tight through the night.- Told you everything would be alright - You were the joy in my day - The smile on my face - You still are.

Adulthood

Warmth surrounds me - sounds of heavens angels singing - comfort as each breath I breathe I know -  the life God chose to use as the cloth from which He knit my individual being - I will once again soon see - life's full circle continuing day by day

In HIS eyes - I am loved - I am perfect - completely unaware of what awaits me - created by God placed here by his choice

Grandparent-hood
Overwhelming joy and love - I have been here before - not like this - so much love - so much joy - again I hear the drum beats - pounding heavy drum beats - comfort as each breath inhaled -  the life God chose to use as the cloth from which He knit my individual being - complete - so complete - as this tiny little swaddle lays against my chest - so loved - so perfect - completely unaware of what awaits her - created by God - placed here by His choice

Something to think about

                                                                       

                                                             Jeremiah 29:13-14

"When you seek me, you will find me, provided you seek for me wholeheartedly; 

and
I will let you find me,’ says Adonai. 

"Then I will reverse your exile. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have driven you,’ says Adonai, ‘and bring you back to the place from which I exiled you."

Ever wonder why some who serve God wholeheartedly as Yeshua describes in Matthew  (*ch7 below)  still don't seem find Him?

Or perhaps they find Him but seem to still be living in exile?

Take a close look at these two verses again.

I have emphasized what the Lord has shown me is an issue for a great deal of His children and also for the people of Israel, for whom this prophecy is meant in original form.

First - in order for the promise Jeremiah speaks of to be fulfilled we must seek the LORD wholeheartedly. 

Let's take a look at the definition of the word wholeheartedly;

Using Merriam-Webster

1. 
   : completely and sincerely devoted, determined, enthusiastic
2. 
   :  marked by complete earnest commitment   
3. 
   
4. Wow that says a lot right there.
5. When I read this I think about when my kids were young and living at home.  Constantly running to and fro. I'll use a getting ready for school example.
6. 
   
7. One of them might be looking for something in the house and they say, 
8. "Mom, we need more what-ever downstairs."
9. My response, 
10. "I just bought some, it's in your cupboard.""
11. There's back, 
12. "No it's not I just looked there. Can I use yours?"
13. "No you may not. Look again. I just went to the store yesterday."
14. They look again and find nothing. So I tell them to search for it and wah-lah! There it is.
15. 
    
16. Searching takes more time.
17.  
18. But as the Prophet Jeremiah tells us, 
19. 
    
20. When we are committed to seeking God, determined in
21. all sincerity, devoted enthusiastically to giving ourselves completely over to finding Him; it is then that Adonai Himself will let us find Him.
22. 
    
23. The more effort we put into seeking Adonai the more assuredly He will reveal Himself to us.

So it is with this promise of God, that we must seek, we must find, we must know Him.
If we desire to be free.

Yeshua said, “I AM the Way — and the Truth and the Life; no one comes to the Father except through me."

John 14:6

 “If you obey what I say, then you are really my diciples, 32 you will know the Truth, and the Truth will set you free.”

John 8:30

Blessings in Yeshua our soon and coming Messiah!
AmyColleen

*Matthew 7:22,23

1.  22 On that Day, many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord! Didn’t we prophesy in your name? Didn’t we expel demons in your name? Didn’t we perform many miracles in your name?’ 23 Then I will tell them to their faces, ‘I never knew you! 

It's Not Always a 12 Step Program

Hello,  normally everything I post on here is an "AmyColleen" original...or perhaps at the least is something like a song that is  borrowed and sandwiched between something I am writing to make my point.

However I read this this morning and felt that it was more than worthy of a re-post.
With a full credit of course.

October 22/23

Forsaking Anger


Ephesians 4:30-32

A righteous life has no room for lingering anger, whether in the form of rage or resentment. Fury that hardens in our hearts becomes a stronghold for Satan.

The fleshly method for "curing" wrath is to either let it out (rage) or suppress it (resentment). Neither is effective for solving problems or making an angry person feel better. God's way of dealing with this dangerous emotion dissolves it and sets the believer free. As today's passage reminds us, we are to "let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from [us], along with all malice" (v. 31). But to do so requires that we recognize it's there.

Whether we are annoyed at ourselves, another person, or God, we have to own that feeling. Pretending that the emotion doesn't exist or that we've somehow risen above anger is useless. If you're angry, admit it and then identify the source. Knowing who or what ignited the initial fury can prevent people from misdirecting irritation onto the innocent.

Here are some questions to help in identifying a source of anger:

• Why am I angry?

• At whom am I angry?

• What caused me to feel/act this way?

• Where or when did this feeling start?

• Have I been angry a long time?

Once we know the source of our anger, it's time to forgive, no matter what. Fury and unforgiveness often go together, and they're heavy baggage that will drag you down. God calls us to set them aside and take up love and kindness instead. Forsaking anger means walking in His will with a light step.

For more biblical teaching and resources from Dr. Charles Stanley, please visit www.intouch.org.

                      Used with permission from In Touch Ministries, Inc. © 2009 All Rights Reserved.