Transparency

I was going to create a whole new blog. Then I thought about it a little more and decided that the title of this blog is, "The Fire Within." So I believe I am entitled to a little transparency. And possibly those who read this may even appreciate it. Who knows.

I am doing this in the hopes that somehow my writing it down will bring healing in the end. Healing to me and possibly even to someone else who might be reading these posts. You see I am going through a great deal of pain and suffering right now. Sometimes it is so great I feel like I won't be able to make it through the night. (key words here is * feel like.) This is where the title phrase,  "The Fire Within " comes to play in my life.

"The Fire Within" me is the Holy Spirit of God.

He is what gives me the strength I need to carry on each day. He is what gives me my comfort and my hope for each day and each tomorrow. It is because of Holy Spirit I can close my eyes at the end of a weeping session, in peace and fall fast asleep knowing I am safe in the hands of Abba Father. Precious, beautiful Holy Spirit.

Holy Spirit -the promised gift of Yeshua.

Honestly, right now I am struggling each day with severe pain. Oh it's not the kind most everyone is thinking. (those of you that know me.) I wake up each morning and I feel the pain, physically in my heart, of my estranged children. Yes, it is physical pain. Yes, I do have physical aliments to deal with. However these aliments are a direct result of the relation issues between my estranged children and myself. The heart ache it is causing me has escalated from just emotional to literally physical heart issues. Not good.

Why? Well, simply put; because I can't just simply lay these relationships at the feet of Yeshua and leave them there and just trust the Lord to take care of them. The end.

Oh, how simple in deed! I soooo wish I could do that! Oh how I have prayed and fasted and prayed and wept and sought the Lord for help in being able to do this! I have cried and cried out to the Lord, "Please Lord help me to just leave them here at your feet! Take them from me! Help me to forget them! I forgive them! Please!!!!"
To no avail. Ugh

Again, I ask, why?
Because, they are MY CHILDREN. I love them. I can not stop thinking about them or loving them as long as I have breath in this body - ever. No matter what the enemy, through what ever means has thus far successfully convinced them to think otherwise. This will always be true.

So one weeping session as I was talking with the Lord about such things.
(so you understand, I was walking around my bedroom, living room; every where I walked there were pictures of me and my kids) I was overwhelmed with hurt I cried out to the Lord in anger, not at the Lord, not even at my kids, just out of sheer pain. I cried out to him,
"I just want to forget about them - all of them!"


(The Lord is so loving, kind and compassionate. He always knows exactly what to say and how to say it.)

Now of course, I don't want to forget my children, any of them. Even at that time I didn't want to. I was just so hurt. I can't even begin to put those feelings into words. I just burst out in anger.

The Lord knew that and He knew what I needed to hear too.
This is what the Lord had to say to me.
He began to talk to me about us. You - me - and all the rest of His children. Mostly His children that are away from Him at the moment. (Estranged, if you will)

He told me how much He missed those who had wandered away from Him. Those that left the flock.
It broke my heart. We sat in silence for what seemed an eternity.

Then He said to me, "AmyColleen,...Not a day goes by that I do not think about each and every one of my lost sheep. Every child of God. "

(Before I could even ask the question - and I was thinking to asking the question - the Lord went on to answer it)

"And yes, Amy, it hurts, but I do not forget them, I remember them and pray for them and watch over them. The Father looks after His children. You should not forget but believe - stay faithful for you will reap your just reward in due season. Remember to see with the eyes of your spirit not the eyes of the flesh."

      **************************************************************************

I don't understand the why of what is going on right now with my relationship with my older children.
I do know that I trust God. I know that I love God above all else and everyone else.
He, is the "Fire Within" AmyColleen.

I love my children. Unconditionally, with the love of Yeshua. I will continue to do so and will trust Him to bring reconciliation in truth through the Blood of Yeshua shed for us all.
"The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit" Psalm 34:18


With the Lord...there is ALWAYS hope.

So......How many times can a heart be broken and still be repaired?
Take a 1000 piece puzzle with three pieces missing
Throw it to the ground and then scoop it up place it in a small box and place it in my chest…..This is my heart.

I feel as though I have almost completed this puzzle so many times and then, out of know where the puzzle explodes and falls to the ground, and I am left with a gapping whole in my chest.

Oh Lord, I can’t do it any more
I have never liked puzzles to begin with!
Now…I like them even less….and now….where my heart used to beat; it just hurts.
I need you, Lord.  I need you to pick up the broken pieces of my heart, for me…and put them all back together…..please. 

*******

Piece by piece 
One at a time
Our Heavenly Father gently puts each piece of my heart in line

Counting each one
No matter which design 
Our Daddy God is sure each broken piece to find

Sitting in amazement
At my Lord’s feet
I watch as My Daddy God accomplishes this amazing feat

A struggle in tears;
A work for me
Is for God, a simple act of compassionate love that flows freely

Surrounded in Glory
Healing in His Wings
I am filled with Peace as His Heavenly Hosts Sing

Praises to the Lord
Mighty God above
Lord God of all, filled with compassion and love

Praise to the Lord!
Mighty God above
Lord God of all…..FILLED with compassion and love!

 

The scripture is NOT alive!

"Power is not in the words themselves, i.e. Bible, Torah. Or we would be able to simply print millions of copies of each and distribute them to the lost and dying world. One would need only to read it and be saved, healed and delivered. 

The power becomes unleashed and my Words become "alive" by the faith of the one who speaks them, by the faith of the one whose ears they fall upon, by the faith of those whose hearts  receive my words with gladness."

  
Yes, you read my title correctly. It is not a typo. I wrote, "The scripture is NOT alive."  
  yes I am also aware of Hebrews 4:12  where the word of G-s said to be alive and active
...and no I am schizophrenic. 

I will expand my beginning statement to include (so no-one will misunderstand) the Bible, the Torah, the Holy written word.

I realize that many of you are probably thinking Amy has fallen off her rocker or lost her marbles or worst yet joined a cult! - No worries!

I have done nothing of the sort!

                                       

I have, however, just received an awesome revelation during my most glorious  time spent with our Lord Yeshua......and I would very much like to share it with you!

I will start with the Scripture I was mesmerized by.

Matthew 7

²⁸ When Jesus had finished saying these things, the crowds were amazed at his teaching, ²⁹ because he taught as one who had authority, and not as their teachers of the law.

I have been studying the Gospel of Matthew. This time I couldn't seem to get past this scripture. It leaped out at me. The words I have emphasized were the ones that leaped out at me. So I asked the Lord about this scripture.

Now, I know for those of us that have been in church or synagogue for any amount of time, we have heard timeless times differing teaching on this scripture. I would venture to guess they would pretty much be generally along the same theological lines.

What the Lord shared with me, I don't recall having ever heard before. 

In fact the closest I come to recalling, would be finding confirmation of what the Spirit of the Lord said, in the Word. Which is exactly what we want to see.

****************************************************************

²⁸ When Jesus had finished saying these things, the crowds were amazed at his teaching, ²⁹ because he taught as one who had authority, and not as their teachers of the law.

Okay, back to my point here.

I said that the "word" was "not alive".

I am speaking "literary". 

In Matthew 7:28 the scripture tells us that "Jesus" was the one speaking and that the crowds were "amazed".

Ever been to a boring church service? I know you have. I have.

Let's take the music out of it. The flashing light shows. Fancy instruments. They didn't have those, I am quite sure, when Jesus was talking to the crowds on the hill sides. I wonder how many of the Mega Church Pastors would be able to keep a crowds attention just "sharing the Gospel" .....LIKE JESUS DID.....hmmmm

Okay Verse 29 tells us that ...he (Jesus) taught as one who "had authority", and "not as their teachers of the law".

Well, of course Jesus had authority. Jesus was G-d. Right? Well, yes and no. I mean that is the easy answer. Jesus was in fact; G-d made man. Walking the earth. However, for the point of this whole  revelation sharing time, more accurately...Jesus had the the Holy Spirit resident within him. and THIS is WHY the WORDS Jesus SPOKE had authority!

Likewise - on the flip side of the coin the very same scripture the teachers of law would read from, and teach from, had no life because they had no life....no Holy Spirit resident within them.

These teachers of the Law, (our current day Pastors, Teachers, Evangelists, Rabbis) that also teach from the Bible, Torah...the very same Holy written Word of G-D. In order for them to speak with authority, effectively they must be filled with the Holy Spirit of G-d.

The scripture tells us that, "..the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart" Hebrews 4:12

This is true. 

There are certain qualifications however. (yes this is what you have been waiting for I believe)

Many believers in the modern day "faith movement" would have you believe that you can take the "written word of G-d and speak it" (what ever it may be) into existence. That is just not scriptural. Although I am not here to debate that issue. 

I would like to share the what the Lord himself spoke to me about this scripture in Matthew 7:28 -He said,

"Power is not in the words themselves, i.e. Bible, Torah. Or we would be able to simply print millions of copies of each and distribute them to the lost and dying world. One would need only to read it and be saved, healed and delivered. 

The power becomes unleashed and my Words become "alive" by the faith of the one who speaks them, by the faith of the one whose ears they fall upon, by the faith of those whose hearts  receive my words with gladness."

This made so much sense to me. It's not magic. 

I mean think about it. People who have faith...seem to always have faith. It doesn't matter where they are. Who they are with, what circumstances they are facing. Why? Because it's not their faith...it is the Holy Spirit within them become alive. Paul puts it this way,

"I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me."

Did you catch that? the Kings James version, I love it! I live BY THE FAITH of the Son of G-d! Wow!! How awesome is THAT? The faith of Jesus.

There are so many scriptures in the writings of Paul alone to encourage us to keep on keeping on the good walk of faith! Through out the New Testament other letters, encouraging us that He who has begun the good work in us HE will see it through to it's completion....and for us to remember we are not alone in this walk called life. Many have gone before us and still yet through all our trials we will not be allowed (by G-d himself) to be tempted beyond that which we can bear, even still G-d himself will make a way out. 

These scriptures written in the Bible, become "alive" and bring hope to us by the power of Holy Spirit, not by simply being a written word on a page or even reciting these words out loud but by having the faith to believe. 

And then there -

Are those people that seem to be able to worship the Lord no matter where they are or who they are with. It doesn't matter what kind of music or even if there is music; it doesn't even matter how the teaching or preaching was! These folk can seem to feel right at home anywhere there are Saints of G-d. Ever wonder why? Because they have the Holy Spirit of G-d resident within them. ..."and where the Spirit of the Lord is there is liberty". 2Corinthians 17

Think of it this way we are family born again into the the likeness of G-d's own son. If you were to travel far away to a foreign land where you knew no one, only to find out you had a relative you hadn't met before in the same neighborhood; just think how joyful your spirit would be! Likewise, your new found family would feel the same!

My point, I hope you are able to follow along, is actually quite straight forward. The word in print is just that. The word in print.

There is no power in the word until it is unleashed by faith.

There are many theories on how to do that (unleash your faith). Sadly most are man's vain attempts at getting G-d attention. Something we have always had. Also something that more often than not brings condemnation and guilt not faith and hope to the life of a believer.

So how do we unleash our faith?

So the word of G-d can become alive and our Joy complete?

That is very simply answered.

...."these are the things God has revealed to us by his Spirit." (scripture below)

¹¹ “I baptize you with water for repentance. But after me comes one who is more powerful than I, whose sandals I am not worthy to carry. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and fire. ¹² His winnowing fork is in his hand, and he will clear his threshing floor, gathering his wheat into the barn and burning up the chaff with unquenchable fire.”

The Baptism of Jesus

 ¹³ Then Jesus came from Galilee to the Jordan to be baptized by John. ¹⁴ But John tried to deter him, saying, “I need to be baptized by you, and do you come to me?”

 ¹⁵ Jesus replied, “Let it be so now; it is proper for us to do this to fulfill all righteousness.” Then John consented.

⁶ As soon as Jesus was baptized, he went up out of the water. At that moment heaven was opened, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and alighting on him. ¹⁷ And a voice from heaven said, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.”

We need the Holy Spirit resident within us! It is simply not enough for us to say the "sinners prayer" and carry a Bible around. None of us knows when we will take our last breathe. I guarantee we will not have a Bible in our hands when we stand before the King of Glory on judgment day! I also guarantee one of the questions the Lord is going to ask us is NOT going to be, "Did you make it to church and Sunday school faithfully?" or  "Did you have fun at worship?" or "Did you keep every one of my commandments? Because if you didn't you have to leave right now! ooops....YOU ARE OUTTA HERE!"

The Lord knows everything there is to know about us. Everything. EVERYthing. We can't hide anything. I mean nothing. (You get my picture.)

So....if you are having difficulty connecting with others in the Body of Christ.

Reading the Word...and having it "speak to you".

Getting to church or small groups to fellowship...because it's so boring.

I have a tip.  This one works every time. It's guaranteed.

Get to know the Master

Now, now....hold on! I didn't say get to know "about" him. I said get to "know" him. Two completely different things.

I mean. I  can read all about George Washington from history books. Martin Luther Kings Jr. I can tell you what kind of desserts like to eat. You name it. But I can never get to "know" them - personally - intimately. After a while Reading about them becomes BORING.

The Master....our Lord....Jesus/Yeshua....is Alive. We can get to KNOW him. If we spend time with him.

I realize for some reading this, it will be a first. For others not so much.

Either way...if you take on the challenge of spending time getting to know the Master better; developing your person relationship with him. Your faith will be unleashed, bringing results through the Word. 

So, no...the written Word, the Bible, Torah, on paper is not alive.

But - take some time and get to "know" your Lord and Savior and YOU and your faith soon will be!

Guaranteed! 

*** Corinthians 2***

 ¹ And so it was with me, brothers and sisters. When I came to you, I did not come with eloquence or human wisdom as I proclaimed to you the testimony about God. ² For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. ³ I came to you in weakness with great fear and trembling. ⁴ My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit’s power, ⁵ so that your faith might not rest on human wisdom, but on God’s power.

God’s Wisdom Revealed by the Spirit

 ⁶ We do, however, speak a message of wisdom among the mature, but not the wisdom of this age or of the rulers of this age, who are coming to nothing. ⁷ No, we declare God’s wisdom, a mystery that has been hidden and that God destined for our glory before time began. ⁸ None of the rulers of this age understood it, for if they had, they would not have crucified the Lord of glory. ⁹ However, as it is written:

   “What no eye has seen,
   what no ear has heard,
and what no human mind has conceived”- 
   the things God has prepared for those who love him-

 ¹⁰ these are the things God has revealed to us by his Spirit.

   The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God. ¹¹ For who knows a person’s thoughts except their own spirit within them? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. ¹² What we have received is not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may understand what God has freely given us. ¹³ This is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom but in words taught by the Spirit, explaining spiritual realities with Spirit-taught words. ¹⁴ The person without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God but considers them foolishness, and cannot understand them because they are discerned only through the Spirit. ¹⁵ The person with the Spirit makes judgments about all things, but such a person is not subject to merely human judgments, ¹⁶ for,

   “Who has known the mind of the Lord
   so as to instruct him?”

   But we have the mind of Christ."