When is it MY Turn?

It’s hard sometimes to understand, God’s great, all knowing and mighty hand.

We see our world in limited view, knowing our need; at least we think we do.

We do our best to live obediently, without complaint, expediently.

Not comparing ourselves to one another, not being jealous of sister or brother.

Somehow, some way, hard as we try, we just can’t help but wonder why;

God seems to have overlooked our need, and still has neglected to water our seed.

As hard as it is to understand, God’s great, all knowing and mighty hand.

Let us remember his motive is pure love, he looks over us all, from his throne above.

His vision encompasses our entire life, from beginning to end, every joy; every strife.

He knows the plans he has for us, they are good not evil, in this we must trust.

Knowing down deep within our hearts, through all the tears and false starts;

God’s Word is ever and always true; HE will always see his promises through.

If we fully delight ourselves in Him, not just in part, he will give us the desires of our heart.

Written by: Amy Colleen All rights reserved 

I know some times it can be hard to wait on God.

To ...."be still and know that he is God"....

I am going through this myself right now.

I have learned and am learning even still that it is 

 divine obedience that produces God's hand of blessing in my life

and

it is absolute faith that produces divine obedience

and

it is only death to myself and life in Christ that produces the absolute faith

necessary to fuel my obedience.

"that faith" - being -"The faith of the Son of God"

Even Jesus, who gave himself for me.

Galatians 2:20

^" I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ live in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me." 

So I continue on each day through this journey. Thanking God for the sacrifice He made for me and also live my life through HIS faith when I have none.

I love you Lord!

Thank you for believing in me!

Look up -Look up

Oh my precious - precious one

I am here why won't you see?

I feel each and every tear that falls upon your cheek

Like a knife in my heart piercing me.

Look up - look up 

Please look up so you will see

It is I, the lover of your soul

the one chasing after thee

I have paid a great  ransom

I have given my life

So you would be delivered 

from all death and all strife

Come - come away with me

Oh you who loves me passionately 

Let me wipe away your tears

so you will know

You are not alone

Oh my precious one

I feel your every joy

Every pain - every thing you feel

Come away  - come away

Oh precious one of mine

Look up - look up

I love you

Well - okay - rest now

Okay, so I did it. I finally did it.
Of course I feel like I have a huge sword stabbing me in my chest. Yep. Take a look at the sword to the right and THAT is what I have stabbing my in my chest right now. OUCH!
Sounds great huh?
Uh-m no! Thank you!
I was kinda hoping that feeling would have left me when I finished writing the letter. But it's still here. Ugh.

You know something?

It has been an amazing week!

No - Really - it has! I really dislike focusing on this pain I am feeling. In my heart - in my chest. It just seems to be so over powering at this moment. I so need to find my way - my way back to Him.
My way back to peace.

Oh how I wish I hadn't even left. I hadn't left, that place of rest, in Him.
I didn't want to - I truly did not - I simply had no choice.
I had to sit down and write this letter.
It HAD to be done. I actually thought about not writing it.
You know? Just forgetting about it, letting the whole issue slide back to the deep dark recesses of my mind?
That corner WAY back there?
You know the one I am talking about right?
Yeah-----well-------found out I don't have that dark corner anymore. hahah
I suppose that is a good thing J. 
However -   right about now I am thinking I would like a corner I could shovel some unwanted stuffs into from time to time!

That's where hiding in the 

Shadow of his wings 

Comes in so very nicely.

"He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart." Psalm 91:4

I love the Lord and am so thankful He is here with me now.

I am so thankful for His unconditional love - for His Grace.

I am so thankful that He will never leave me or forsake me.

♥

 So thankful I can run to Him an hide in the shadow of His wings!

I'm coming Lord! 

Back to you and to that incredible peace!

♥

It's true, you know

I Live a Life of Miracles

So….Life totally did not turn out like I thought it would.

Ooooookay or like I had hoped it would.

Or…..yeah even like I realized it probably was going to.

Yep that’s right.

It just didn’t turn out that way at all.

Life is a miracle for me. No matter how I look at it. It’s a miracle.

Sure there have been bad times. But there have been allot of good times as well.

The bad times, are they entirely my fault; altogether my mess ups?

Well…..I have tried to make excuses for all the mess ups… but basically I just messed up; and if I make excuses for all the mess ups then I feel as though I have to make excuses for all the clean ups too.

I don’t want to make an excuse for the clean ups….. those are my miracles!

You know, now that I think about it, the way my life is actually turning out - may not be exactly how I thought it would be….but....it is.....actually allot closer to what I had always dreamed it could be.
:)

It seems to me that the closer I get to Holy Spirit, Himself, and ….the more I seek the Lord, Holy Spirit's face…..and the more I die to myself….the further I get from understanding life (as I was taught to grow and understand it by all my life’s teachers here on earth) and the closer I get to embracing life and the understanding of it the way Holy Spirit reveals its meaning to me.

Everything I have held dear for so many years is now becoming a different point of interest and priority in my life.

To truly die to yourself…..to abandon all for the sake of the cross…..pleasing God – not man.

Can I do it?

WILL I do it?

Where has life taken me this far?

Where will life take me from here?

I do not know.
I do not know the answer to that.
I DO KNOW that where ever life’s journey takes me 

Yeshua HaMashiach is by my side
Holy Spirit is here with me.
and

I live a life of Miracles.