Today - it hit me

So I was sitting here in my chair, just sitting here relaxing after a very long day.

 I was  listening to a video coming from my husbands computer from across the room. 

Maybe not so much listening to it as much as hearing it. 

At any rate, suddenly, it just hit me. 

Like a tornado - -out of nowhere it hit me.

I don't know why or how or what it was specifically that made me have this incredible epiphany

 but I had it

 They. Are. Gone. 

All. My. Love. All. Dan's. Love. All. My. Support. All. Dan's. Support. 

Everything. 

It's.  All.  Gone. 

 The.  Nights.  The.  Days.  Every.  Meal.   Every.  Family night.  Every. Snow ball fight.  Every.  Uno game.

 Every.  Scrapped knee.  Every. Sibling fight. Every.  Good day. Every. Bad day.  Every.  Holiday. 

Every.  Phone call.  Every. Package.  Every.  Card. 

School concerts.  Birthdays.  Holidays. 

Through.  All. The. Joy.  Through. All. The. Tears.

Every.  Road trip.  Every.  Plane ride.  Every.  Sacrifice. We ever made. Through.All.The. Years.

Still.   They.  Left.

and

It's. Gone.

They're gone.

 Just.  Like.  That. 

Every.  Memory.  Each.  And.  Every.  One.

From.  Then.  Until.  Now.

Caught.  Up.  In .  A.  Tornado.

Facing.  Swirling.  Past.

Why?

  I.  Ask.

 I.   Don't.  Know. 

Today.  It. Just.  Hit.  Me.

 They. Are.  Gone.

Today I saw myself

There I was. Off in the distance, arms stretched out towards the sky. Swaying back and forth ever so gently to the rhythm of the music. So beautiful. Worshiping the King. 

Then again, as I glanced in the opposite direction, right in front of me. I see myself once more. Long curly light brown hair, draped over my face. I can hear can hear a love song. A love song to Jesus. 

My two most beautiful daughter's. I am so blessed!

I couldn't stop looking at the two of them for what seemed to be for - forever! I knew the Lord was up to something....I knew a lesson was coming!

Then - I felt it. The deep - holy - hush. Like a blanket, it came on me. I could n't even sing anymore. I had to be on my knees....ever so still before the Lord.

There I was. Eyes closed. I enter into the Holy presence of the Lord. I knelt and waited. Not saying a word. He knows what is on my heart. Better than I could ever explain.  With my eyes closed and my heart open. The Lord began to show me secrets and mysteries. I am filled to over flowing. The Glory of God is more than anyone can handle in this life and my natural self begins to shake and tears explode from within. The Holiness of  God and His grace to dwell among us, is more than amazing. 

One touch and I am at instant shalom. No more shaking. Pure unadulterated, unconditional love envelops me. Right where I am. The all consuming fire has taken the sinful nature - for now. While I am in His presence.  I do not want to leave this place where I am. Yet, I must for it is for this reason and purpose that He has shown me that I must. He has shown me who I am. He has shown me who I need to become.

Incredible encounter as always!

I am not all that I should be. Not yet. Though I will be, by his grace.

The one thing I did take from my time with the Lord today was how I see myself.

The Lord caused me to see myself in a completely different light.

Today I saw myself - in the life around me.

In my husband.

In my beautiful daughter's.

In the life of my precious and dearest friends.

In my brother's and sister's in Yeshua.

In the live's of my neighbor. 

In the live's of anyone I come in contact with through out my day.

My life  is the life of those I touch....be it....good or bad....they are my life.

Today I saw myself and I was beautiful.

Do you need a window washing?

Dirty Laundry

A young couple moves into a new neighborhood.
The following morning while they are eating breakfast,
the young woman sees her neighbor hanging the wash outside.

"That laundry is not very clean",  she said.
"She doesn't know how to wash correctly.
Perhaps she needs better laundry soap."

Her husband looked on, but remained silent.

Every time her neighbor would hang her wash to dry,
the young woman would make the same comments.

About one month later, the woman was surprised to see a
nice clean wash on the line and said to her husband,

"Look, she has learned how to wash correctly.
I wonder who taught her this."

The husband said, "I got up early this morning and
cleaned our  windows."

And so it is with life. What we see when watching others
depends on the purity of the window through which we look.

Author unknown

Batter up!

Memories - they are the darnedest things! Aren't they?

One minute you can be getting ready to walk out your door, grocery list in hand whistling a happy tune.

The very next moment you are on the floor tears streaming down your face, crying like a little baby.

How does this keep happening?

Well, this time I will graciously blame it on the Louisville Sluggers!

Honestly, I don't know if this post belongs on this blog "My Life in Pictures" or if it's better shared on

"The Fire Within"  blog....so I will probably post it on both.

So back to the Bat

As the story goes, there was this Mum you see. She was picking her son up from the airport She was oh so very excited to see him!! She was traveling,  not to very far from her home to the airport as he was flying in from far away. So she needed to drive from Cincinnati, Ohio to Indianapolis, Indiana. 

So off she goes!

Well, the Mum got to the airport without too terribly much ado. I mean, I only  freaked out two or three times, she only had to call her hubby two or three times for help, but it all worked out okay. 

After finally arriving at the airport, which actually turned out to work for the best because her son's plane ended up being a few minutes behind anyway so she didn't have to pay for parking. Yay! 

 So, Mum met up with her son at the curb side. They greeted with a happy hug. Packed the car and were off! Back to Cincinnati where the rest of the family eagerly awaited the arrival of their most awesome brother!

So one would think the ride home would be easy peasy, right?

I mean I already got lost should know my way this Mum had experience maneuvering the expressway around the airport now.

Ummmmmm, yeah...not so much.

As the saga continued.......Mum was so happy to see her son that she just chatted and chatted away as I so often, I mean as she so often does and well she missed the turn off to the correct interstate off ramp. 

Of course not realizing this  until about 60 minutes later.

Yeah. That's what I said. No typo. Sixty minutes.

At which point  I pretend I knew what I was doing   she realized they had gone too far to turn around . So instead seeing THE KENTUCKY BORDER STRAIGHT AHEAD decided to make a fun day of it and continued on to Louisville!

That's when they ended up at the Louisville Slugger Museum.

They had lunch.

They got bats - Mum got a tiny bat. (Apparently Mum likes tiny things.) and her son got a reg size Slugger!

We  They walked around.

It was fun.

Then they headed home to Cincinnati.

Home of the Reds.

Ha!

So, there you have it.

A wonderful memory- had by Mum and her son.

So why the crying you may ask.
It started because I was in my closet looking for something and I came across this little bat.
I picked it up.
I looked at it - and - boom.
The memories came flowing in.
Now here I am. Should be at the grocery store.
Instead, I am shaking my head right now. That memory was about 15 years ago.

Since then times have changed, allot. I do not understand why.
I do know.

Mum is counting her days and her son lives far away in miles and in heart.

and I wish I could do it all over again. Get lost on my way to the airport.
I miss you so.

Yeah....sniff.