So Here I am

Okay so wow,         I am writing this blog post for total selfish reasons.        Yeah.

Basically, I don’t expect anyone to really read it and if they do I would be utterly shocked if they took anything away from it. None the less, I find I am compelled to type away. So type I will.

You see, I am in a place in life I never expected to be. A place I would never expect anyone to have to be. Heck, I don’t know in all my years if I have ever known anyone personally who has been in my shoes. I do remember years ago during one of my Women of Destiny meetings, a woman giving a testimony asking for prayer because she was in a “similar” situation in her life. However, as I recall even her situation was nothing like what I am faced with today. It is simply unbelievable.

So, here I am.

I am child of the King. I have been wash in the Blood of the Lamb. Cleansed and made new. I have never been so in love with my Creator – walked so close to the Shepherd – had such revelation of the reality of the Eternal realm – Life with God here and in the New Heaven to come and yet – my precious loved ones are so far away. Not just geographically, but somehow the enemy has been able to seduce them and in such a way that they believe they are walking in the truth. All the while they are actively seeking to bring division and complete separation to their family - all in the name of God and his righteousness.  I am still in complete shock. How – why –after a life time of memories would – could –you divorce your mother and sisters?  We’re not talking abuse or neglect or never being around. It’s like having a major limb suddenly sawed off of your body with no anesthesia, the reason given, “Because someone else is more deserving of the arms and legs than you.”  This is not okay. This is straight forward deception from the enemy and that is why it is so heart wrenching and mind boggling.

So after the initial shock hit me and my family (outta nowhere like an earthquake in the middle of the night) and I was able to pull myself together enough to sit still in the Lord’s presence, Holy Spirit reminded me of some dreams He had given me that I wrote down in my journals. (*you know it is amazing how the Lord will speak to you years before something BIG will happen in your life – you may wonder – “what in the world does this dream mean?” just be patient, if it is from the Lord, it will come to pass) I read my old journals and low and behold the Lord had given me several dreams warning me about all three of my sons and their father’s behavior, long before this ever took place.  The really awesome part about this is that the Lord also gave me scriptures and promises that He (the Lord) was going to bring the Spirit of Truth into their lives. I only needed to be willing to believe – to pray and to love.

Of course, that sounds allot easier than it really is.  I already have had one intervention from the Lord – in the middle of the night, thankfully.

I had a dream, which I am not going to share in detail; however, I will say this. It was so perfect and straight to the point that when I woke up I was able to leave my sons at the feet of Jesus. This time – without taking them back and I have peace knowing He (Jesus) is working in them. The Lord has heard my prayers. Every last one of them I have prayed. Oh, and believe you, me I pray at least 4-5 times each and every day for the healing and deliverance and restoration of this family. Everyone in this family - all 10 of us and the grandkids as well!

I am living in a world most would not understand. In fact, I don’t know that I could even find the words to describe the world I live in. I am many things in this life here on earth - I am a Handmaiden of the Most High God, a wife, a mother, a grand-mother, a prayer warrior, a friend, so much more. My life has been very full and at the same time very empty. Still I know I need to empty myself even more and fill myself even more.

I can’t explain the pain I feel. Having my sons – the boys I love and have raised and known for their entire life, tell me they don’t want to be my sons anymore. Or, explain how it hurts me to know that my sons have been so deceived that they would shun their sisters. Toss them to the way side. To see my precious girls and the pain they feel in the betrayal  they are faced with as their brothers choose to sever their lives with them – and in the “name of God and righteousness”.  This is surely an emotion that the human language has yet to put any such words to.  

Yet, in the midst of this tornado of dissolution I have found peace. 

Or has it found me?

I know in whom I believe and He has kept me in perfect peace. I am able to cover my precious loved ones in the Blood of the Lamb each day. I am able to pray for them for the revelation of truth - for forgiveness and deliverance of generational curses. I would never be able to do this on my own. Frankly I am amazed myself, once again at the wonderful grace of God in my life! I pray for the love, grace, forgiveness, mercy and compassion to flow over into each one of my precious family members lives. May the healing power over come them – May Holy Spirit take control and the promise of God to turn all things around for the good of those that love Him and are the called according to HIS purpose be made manifest in all our lives!

Lord have your way in our lives!

 You ARE the God of reconciliation!

 Come - live through me – Amy Colleen