In Light of Pastor Appreciation

This is a poem I wrote years ago for a very dear friend and Pastor of mine, who has since gone to be with the Lord. 

I have had the privilege to work under and with a few more Pastors since then. 

I am dedicating this to them all!

Thank you and 

God bless you real good! 🕊️😊💙

                 MY PASTOR

My Pastor is like no other.

I’ve looked far and wide and can see;

My Pastor is like no other.

Yet, he seems familiar to me.

My Pastor loves without measure;

takes care of his flock selflessly.

My Pastor lives what he teaches.

Gives grace to all men equally.

My Pastor gives without ceasing.

He cares like I’ve never seen.

Staying up nights for the brethren;

up before dawn, on his knees.

My Pastor is like no other.

Every day he amazes me.

But I can’t help but wonder,

about the familiarity.

Lord, you know my Pastor.

You created him one of a kind.

Why does he seem so familiar to me,

if he’s the only one of his kind?

Your Pastor, dear child, is quite special.

He’s one of a kind as you see.

The reason he seems so familiar to you;

is because he’s so much like me.

By: AmyColleen 

Copyright June 1998 

All rights reserved

A Heart like Yours

I went through my writings today looking specifically for this New Psalm I had written - "A Heart Like Yours" -  I wrote it years back. Well  I found it. I didn't realize I had written a blog post around it - and well - I can certainly understand why the Spirit of the Lord laid it upon my heart to look it up today.

Not only is the New Psalm relevant to what I would like to share with you today - but the entire post from back in 2009 is. I wrote and originally posted the New Psalm -(with vulnerable transparency) about what the Lord was doing in my life back in 2009.

Today, I sit, 14 years later, having followed the path that was set before me and yet still being drawn ever closer.
Being asked in a language of love with words of silence to continue down a path I can not see - by myself - knowing I am not alone - at times only in faith.
Abandonment becoming second nature - self sacrifice a first resort - pain and suffering as involuntary as breathing and the regularity of my heart beating.
The one thing that seems the hardest of all - family and friends - can not see - do not know - have no way to fathom or understand - so somehow I must restrain all pain - all heartache -  and just love.

When I see the soul on the street. When they nod their head as we pass and our eyes they meet. When my heart stops for that moment and I must make it start again - because of the pain I know they're in - all because of the master of their sin - that keeps them in the jail their in - away from  God who loves them so - all I want to do is to let them know - Pain Pain so much pain - crushing - sharp - pain - intense beyond anything thing I know -  that makes any sense - I feel it in MY OWN heart - how can this be so? - Help me please dear God - In and through me, to these hurting souls  - let your love - without restraint go! - Remove the fence that keeps me here -tear down the walls of doubt and fear! - I need YOUR Love - I need YOUR love - more than ever before I need your love.

Help me - love like you.

I want a heart like yours Lord.

No other heart will do.

I need a heart like yours, Lord.

If I’m to love like you.

I want to love them like you love me.

You’re always gentle and kind.

Never boastful, proud or rude,

I want to love them like you.

You never look out for yourself Lord.

You’re always looking out for me.

You don’t keep tabs on every thing I do wrong.

You never anger easily.

I want a heart like yours Lord.

No other heart will do.

I need a heart like yours, Lord.

If I’m to love to love like you.

I want to love them like you love me.

Always being my best friend.

Never delighting when evil comes my way.

But rejoicing in the truth instead.

I want to love them like you love me.

You've never failed me yet.

You’re always there to protect me Lord.

Ever trusting; in me your hope is set.

.

I want to love them like you love me.

I want to touch them like you touch me.

I want to show them that your love is real.

I want a heart like yours, Lord.

I need a heart like yours.

Give me a heart like yours.

A heart like yours.

****************************************************************************

2009

On Sunday....

I went in the prayer room at church to partake of communion. As I sat there with the elements in my hands, eyes closed I heard the voice of the Lord speak to me,

"Amy, would you, for me?"....I said, "Yes Lord."

Then again I heard His voice. This time, "Amy, WILL you?"....I wasn't quite sure what, but I answered just the same as it was very clear to me it was the Lord asking and I would do anything for Him.... "Yes Lord, I will." A few more seconds went by and I heard his voice again, "Amy, then drink my cup."

A chill ran up my spine. I opened my eyes and looked at the cup of grape juice I was holding in my hand and said, "Yes Lord. I will." and drank it.

The Real Me
This is my desire....more than anything.

Now.

Can I take moment to share with you the real me?
Just bits of me so when I begin to open up and share some of what the Lord shares with me you know where I have been and where I am headed?

There is a lot of me on this blog. But quite honestly, I read over it and realized I don't come across as a real person. So I thought I would just take a moment to some what briefly share with you where I have come from and where I am now and where I would like to go.

As you know, my Name is AmyColleen. I am a wife and mother to five wonderful children.
I was raised in a large Catholic family. Survivor of abuse, physical and sexual. I got involved with the wrong people and saw and did things I should not have. I came to receive Jesus as savior when I was 15 years of age. I met my first husband when I was 17 and married when I was 18 years old. Between then and now I have been divorced and lost my family and been remarried. Suffered through abuse and poverty and sickness of differing kinds. I have been rejected by my own children and lied to and about by those I have trusted with my life. My health declined and I grew depressed.

It hasn’t all been bad. I have had good times as well.
I worked in the inner city as a volunteer, reaching the lost and hurting. I fed, clothed and prayed with the poor and lost and the prostitutes of the roughest part of down town.
During a service at a local outreach I was miraculously ~ instantaneously healed from MS by the Lord Jesus and was able to lead a missions team to Albania. This was one of the highlights of my life!

During this season I found out that my grand mother was Jewish. The very heritage that I have loved since a young girl in High School was MY heritage. My oldest son started attending Messianic Synagogue, knowing nothing about my newly acquired knowledge of my family heritage. (I thought this was especially neat) And also the families were starting to get back in sinc, relationally.

I continued to climb uphill....continued to run the race....continued to believe God's word to be true and all men liars. I grew closer to the Lord ever day. Prayer was my best friend. I spent literally hours a day in prayer. I found myself getting up in the middle of the night and coming out to the living room to spend time with the Lord. He spoke a great many things to me during this season.

Then everything changed. Without going into details. What I "can" say is, I know God is in control of my life. I am in the palm of His hand. I trust Him.
Things are different now. Again. I don't understand it, but then I have read and read and read and am still reading the Word of God and I can't find anything that tells me I am necessarily supposed to "understand" it. I have been through this enough times to know that God always keeps His Word....and His Word says, " And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28
And also, "There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven." Ecclesiastes 3:1

Now is my time to let go.
To Trust God.

There is so much more but this what I wanted to share.


God is calling me higher. Where He is calling me, there is no place for anyone else but Him and me. In theory this is no problem. In reality....honestly? God is Holy. Holy. We say that all the time. We sing it in our worship songs. We SHOUT it out on Sundays! But Honestly, here lately I have been awaken by the hush of God's holiness in the middle of the night and been struck with the fear of the Lord. 

 

Straight to my bones! I have spent my early morning prayer time alone in the presence of God and had the presence of the Lord over come me in holiness and the fear of the Lord struck me...THIS is different. A new level. A new place. Here...I am a tad bit afraid.

I want a heart like his....more than anything...I WILL....Lord.

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The Devil Made Me Do It

THE DEVIL MADE ME DO IT

🤪

This is a saying most of us would tend not to agree with. 

However if we look in the Bible in the letter the Apostle Paul wrote to the Ephesians, Paul pretty much says just that. 

In his own words of course. 

12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.”

We have entered a season where the devil’s voice has been know to run rife . Not only among the world but also among the body of Christ. 

The presidential election season.

It is during this season we need to be extra aware of the spiritual forces behind our every word and deed. 

Make a point not to be used by the enemy to bring division into the house of God. 

It can happen in a moment of passion. During a seemingly innocent conversation between friends. We may not even be aware we are submitting ourselves to the enemy in this area. Still, it is happening. 

If the words we speak do not glorify the Lord, perhaps the devil made us do it. (Ephesians 6:12)

Please understand me. I am not saying we should all be quiet. Or that we do not have the right to our beliefs. 

We do. Absolutely we do. 

I am a firm believer in the first amendment. 

I am also a firm believer that as a disciple of Jesus I am obligated to hold certain truths close to my heart and vote that way as well. Even go so far as to inform others, less informed, of certain truths if it be the case. 

However my heart is pained,  as I believe the Lord’s is as well. 

Why? Because in his body, the mean spirit has been given the right to run rampant. 

The spiritual forces of this dark world have crept in and moved through us. 

We are called to be at peace with one another. To love one another as He loves us.

We do not need to agree with each other. Still, we need to stay a loving family. 

I understand being passionate about issues, believe you me, I do!

I also know the feeling of utter frustration when I know someone I love isn’t “getting it”. Though this  does not give us the right to be mean spirited toward them. 

If we feel that passionate about a certain issue and so utterly frustrated others won’t listen to us, perhaps this is when we need most to stop talking and start praying. 

I am talking to myself as much as anyone else. 

Elections are rough as it is. This election is even more so. 

My encouragement to us all is to,

Stay in God’s Word. 

Learn what HE would want. 

Pray for His will to be done on earth as it is in heaven. Vote appropriately. 

Love our neighbor, siblings in Christ, vas ourselves.

Whenever possible be at peace with each other. 

And remember though the devil can’t really MAKE us do anything. He sure can influence our decisions. 

Peace out 💙🦋🕊️

I love you THIS Much!

Do you remember the adorable book ? I gave a copy to each of  my children. Every child wants the reassurance that their parent's love is everlasting and unconditional. In this short story, Guess How Much I Love You, a young rabbit named Little Nutbrown Hare is convinced he has found a way to measure the boundaries of love itself! Back and forth he and his Papa go....I love YOU more! No I love YOU more! With each of my own children I adapted my own rendition of the "I love you mores!" You could say they were unique unto each one.

                                         

Hey there Mom!!      

                 Do you love me??

I love you THIS much!  ___________________ Well Little Nutbtown.  I love you ALL the way UP to the SUN and back!! Illustrations by: Anita Jeram

 Well my children are all grown up now, and have started lives of their own. I don't hear from them like I used to nor do I get the opportunity to "tell" them as much as I would like how much I love them. Although the love is still very much there. It hasn't waxed or waned. In fact it has grown even stronger over the years. I have more respect for my children than I did when they were just small like Little Nutbrown Hare. I have watched them grow. I have watched them tackle life and all that it has thrown at them. I am a very proud of how they have handled themselves. Still as proud as I am and as much as I love my little, not so little Nutbrown Hares I am their Mumsey. It is my God given right to love them, care about them and wonder how they are. So I guess what I am saying is, I miss them.

 This is where the Lord says,

"Do YOU love me?

 I love YOU."

I love you THIS Much

The Lord's love is unconditional.

Never ending.

His Grace is GREATER than any sin. Able to to forgive anything.

There isn't anything that the Lord doesn't already know about you. You can't surprise Him.

AND GET THIS

HE LOVES YOU

You see, in Romans 5:8,9 says  "But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. ⁹ Much more then, having now been justified by His blood, we shall be saved from wrath through Him."

You get it don't you?

Back to the Big Nutbrown Hare analogy. As a Mother I have given my ALL for my children. I love every one of them with MY WHOLE heart. As far as I am concerned (and I am sure all the Mothers I personally know would agree with me on this one)

"You can mess with anything, but DO NOT mess a Ma'mas babies! You be barkin' up the wrong tree. Cause there ain't no wrath like a mother scorned!"

I mean seriously, even just typing that, I could feel the passion. 

It is the same with the Lord and HIS CHILDREN!

Even MORE SO!

The Lord does NOT like it when His children are taken advantage of. On the subject, the Lord’s love  for His children.The Lord could NOT stand to be separated from us! So much so that He gave His only begotten Son to be crucified, as a Holy sacrifice; as an atonement for OUR SIN. ONCE for ALL; that all who believe and receive would have life everlasting! (paraphrased John 3:16)

Jesus, gave HIS life. Suffered terribly. An innocent man.

The Heavenly Father allowed Him to come and give His life for us.

(back to Romans 5:9)

If then by demonstrating THIS. How much more will He, (God) not do for us now, through the blood of the Lamb (Jesus) during this season of Grace?

Come.

The Spirit of the Lord s

says come.

Original post 2011

The Valley

There are many rare and beautiful treasures 

deep down in the valley, if you take the time to look for them. However, if your only goal while traveling through the valley is TO GET OUT then you WILL MISS OUT on such rare gifts of God!

I admit when I notice I am on a fast track down hill from a mountain top to the valley low, the first thing I tend to do is to try and see if I can locate an alternate route. I mean come on! Seriously now. Going ALL the way down the mountain to the valley and back up again isn't exactly the quickest route and I know I have wasted enough time already in my life messing around so when it comes to pulling out the ol' spiritual GPS and choosing between quickest way or least amount of mileage I am all for quickest way! Unfortunately for me, the Lord doesn't always see it MY WAY.

Or IS IT....."unfortunate"?

I have learned, after a great many trips down the same old mountain and into the same valley, that it is quite fortunate that I have upgraded to the spiritual GPS system (God Positioning System) and no longer have to depend on my out dated gps. My navigating skills are some-what lacking! I have this ever longing desire to go upward, even though the map is telling me otherwise. 🤦‍♀️ Go figure.

It has taken me quite a few years and a good up grade but I have finally made it to the valley and taken a full tour. It is quite beautiful down here!

Psalm 23

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures:
He leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul: He leadeth me in the paths
of righteousness for His name’s sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the
shadow of death, I will fear no evil:
For Thou art with me; Thy rod and Thy staff
they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me
in the presence of mine enemies: Thou anointest my
head with oil; my cup runneth over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house
Of the Lord for ever.

A Poem by AmyColleen

Changes of the Heart

 

It’s evening now, as the sun sets low.

The sky is a painting with bright colors aglow.

The midnight sky not far away,

Nighttime animals come out to play.

A whole new world beneath the sky,

As the moon and the stars rise up so high.

A world the same, yet not at all,

Just like the mountaintops in spring and in fall.

Both a beauty in themselves; the mountains in the fall;

Speak of change and solitude; spring, new life to all.

So mountaintops in seasons change a divine work of art.

We too have night and day to live, in changes of the heart.

The sun awakes as morning breaks. Mankind begins its day.

Survival of the fittest one is now the game we play.

Though games of survival we continue to play, and the life we lead goes on.

There is a change in man's heart, between the dusk and dawn.

For some it is as a mountain in fall,

A way of escape from it all;

For others it is as a mountain in spring;

A breath of life for their weary being.

~Selah~

Before too long, it's no longer dawn, but evening has arrived.

Tired and yet thankful ones are happy to have survived.

No matter what the case may be, there's beauty to be found;

If we’ll only take the time to see, how God’s glory in nature abounds.

If the Lord has led you into the valley,

Know,  HE is with you.

Know, it is not a punishment.

Know, everything will be okay.

REST, because SOON you will need strength to start your climb back up the mountain!

Grace, love 💗 peace 🕊️and joy 🥰 in Jesus!

AmyColleen

Because

I posted this poem before. However I felt as though I needed to post this again. 

These words are so powerful.

We live in day and age where it seems as though such a great many people, young and old; rich and poor, male and female alike, all seem to struggle with believing in themselves.

These are perilous days we live in. No doubt life can be overwhelming at times.

Just in my circle of friends I would say 50% of them are experiencing serious challenges in their life..
Facing deaths in families, terminal illnesses, job loss, divorce and more.

It can be hard to have faith sometimes. To believe we will actually make it.
It's good to know that someone has faith in us.

Because You Believe in Me

I am here.

You are here in me.

Because of this I know I can be;

all that you say you want me to be.

I’ve tried so many times.

I’ve climbed this mountain before.

I’ve done all that you’ve asked me to do.

I’ve lived through the things you’ve brought me through.

Here I sit, still;

waiting on you.

To make me all that you said I should be.

I don’t see how but I know that you will, because you believe in me.

You’ve always believed in me; the only one who ever believed in me.

With you all things are possible.

With you, before I see it, it’s done.

With you, before I’ve begun to fight, the battle is already won.

You are the Almighty and you are my God.

You are the Lord of Lords and you are my God.

You are the Creator of the world and you are my God.

You are Alpha and Omega; the beginning and the end and you are my God.

You are Jesus, Savior of the world; and you are my God.

Because you are the Omnipotent and Supreme One; what you say shall be done.

What you have said in fact is already done. Though my eyes do not see it yet, it is so.

I am already become what I do not even know.

Because you believe in me.

You believe in me.

You’ve always believed in me.

When there was nothing in me worth believing in;

still proudly you remained my friend.

Always there for me; looking out for me.

Because you are who you are; because you said it should be so;

I shall become that which I do not even know.

According to your good purpose I will act and grow.

I will become all that you have designed for me to become.

For you are God.

For you are my God.

I have trusted in you and you love me.

You have spoken, so it shall be. You have begun your good work in me.

You believe in me. You have already given your best for me.

Because you believe in me so much; now I believe in me.

Come, Finish your work in me.

By: Amy Colleen

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